11 Singles Discuss Whether Sexting Is Considered Cheating

“I would be devastated is my SO was sexting someone else. We don’t even sext. It would definitely be a deal breaker.” — gigabytestarship

“If you wouldn’t do it sitting next to them, you shouldn’t do it. That’s how you know there is something wrong with what you are doing.” — sprocket1234

“Sharing intimacy is what makes it cheating. It’s the same reason why if your partner is in some stage production play and the script calls for them to kiss another actor, it’s not cheating. There’s no intimacy. You can have a physical act that would be otherwise cheating but if there’s zero intimate intent, it can not be cheating, but even the exchange of a few words over text is cheating if there’s intimate intent.” — [deleted]

“Of course it is cheating. Just a matter of time until it manifests itself in real life.” — petergyurko

“Cheating doesn’t equal sex. Cheating is betrayal of your partner’s trust, loyalty, emotions, feelings etc. Sex is a byproduct.” — Punconscious

“The desire to even do that with other people instead of me shows me that you aren’t committing to the relationship.” — JioVega

“It is the thought that counts, not the action. Thoughts lead to actions.” — [deleted]

“The best test: if you would find your partner do that, you would like that? Probably not. Don’t do what you don’t want your SO to do to you.” — vovan45619

“Some couples would consider flirting cheating. Some couples would not consider having sex with other people cheating. There is no right or wrong answer to this question, and it’s something that each couple should navigate on their own. People also really should have this conversation with their partner and make sure that boundaries are clearly defined – and not left to unspoken assumptions that may be different between them.” — lostPackets35

“If your SO if looking to sexting, messaging, pic exchanges to get their rocks off, they aren’t satisfied, and it has nothing to do with you. It’s symptomatic of a bigger problem, be it sexual addiction or simply insatisfaction. It will get bigger. It will progress. It will hurt more. Cut your losses, worry about yourself, and I am only speaking from personal experience.” — [deleted]

“Look at the word cheating and think of any game, like Monopoly for example. If you’re cheating, you’re going against a set of rules. Some people have house rules that go against the written rules, and those are the implied rules, although they should be stated at the beginning of each game, it doesn’t always happen. But if you landed on free parking three times, and the next person that lands on it gets $500 from the bank, you can claim that’s cheating but if the implied house rules are ‘you get $500 from free parking.’ Some people might be inclined to agree one way and others the other way. In a relationship, the implied rules normally are based on monogamy, trust, faithfulness. But let’s say your significant other is an Instagram model who normally interacts with her followers, you may want to discuss the ‘house rules’ of your relationship or know to what extent that person ‘interacts’ with her followers. If she does something that ‘crosses the line,’ but is normal for her, or her line of work, interests, or hobbies, and you failed to discuss it at any point, you may be at fault for failing to do so sooner and have no right to complain. It’s like signing paperwork without reading the fine print. At which point though, you should discuss it and come to some kind of understanding or ‘house rules.’ But if you’re in a seemingly commonly normal relationship, and nothing prompts this person to do such actions other than their own selfish desires, then yes, it goes against the implied rules of a relationship and is therefore a breach of trust, and considered cheating. Officiating that you’re now in a monogamous, exclusive, relationship, would then be comparable to going to a Monopoly convention. Their rules would be the set rules. And if you tried to argue your implied house rules there, you would be wrong. So if you catch your partner sexting someone and an argument ensues, and their side has arguments such as ‘I don’t even know him in person,’ ‘nothing has ever REALLY happened between us,’ ‘this is how I normally talk to people,’ ‘it’s a long time friend and we always do this,’ ‘he’s like 2000 miles away, there’s not even a chance something could REALLY happen,’ it doesn’t matter because they’re ‘in the big league’ so to speak, and there are rules, and they are breaking them. And breaking-the-rules = cheating. The only thing that I consider to be an implied, unspoken house rule that applies to any relationship I’m in is that pornography use is fine. As that is something that most REASONABLE people find to be okay. But if I was in a relationship where it might not be okay, I would discuss it. If I had to hide it, THAT would be cheating.” — ctmannymanny