11 Singles Reveal The New Things They Look For In Partners Now That They’re More Mature

“How you handle stress. Life is hard and I have dated someone who could not handle stress and it made my life twice as hard. Things that weren’t stressful became stressful.” — Lemonn_time

“Someone who has gone to therapy, or at the bare minimum done some work on themselves mentally. I’m putting in the work and hope my partner does the same.” — Such_Run_8189

“Someone who has a good work-life balance and isn’t constantly stressed or overwhelmed by their job or other obligations. Of course, ambition and drive are important too, but I’ve learned that it’s crucial to find someone who can prioritize their mental health and take time to relax and recharge.” — Successful-Minute-10

“Good communication. Being able to have an open, honest, and calm dialogue with someone you plan to be growing with matters a lot, turns out! It seems sort of obvious now, but I definitely downplayed its importance in my early dating life. Also, them being kind to not only me, but those around them as well. Romantic attraction can make an otherwise mean-spirited person be on their best behavior, so looking at how they treat family, friends, random strangers, etc. often is a good indicator of their true nature.” — Plushei

“Self awareness, open-mindedness, authenticity. Like if we had an argument, could I trust both of us to reach a fair compromise or listen to whoever is being reasonable.” — laladuckie

“I’ve started to pay more attention to someone’s emotional intelligence and communication skills. It’s one thing to be physically attracted to someone and have chemistry, but it’s another thing entirely to be able to communicate effectively and work through conflicts together in a healthy way.” — Educational-League87

“If we’re going for something long-term, I would need it to be with somebody who could genuinely treat me like a partner from jump. I’ve gotten too old to be told to ‘fight’ for a relationship when the primary person I would be fighting for would be my supposed partner – who is usually the same person telling me to ‘fight.’ It’s just a recipe for toxicity.” — ShatteredMasque

“CLEANLINESS. The first impression of your place is very important. I was with a man who never cleaned, did laundry, or anything. Maybe once a month when I would bitch him out, but it was absolutely filthy and I refuse to sleep with anyone whose house looks like a college bachelor’s suite.” — AngelxxLove

“I avoid ‘lightning bolts’ now. By lightning bolt I mean that surge of infatuation and excitement that hits you hard and all at once when you have a new partner. This is different from butterflies which are much more calm happy and slow moving. I found that the people who leave me thunderstruck are the people I’m not compatible with long term. It’s fiery and burns quick and hot and someone always gets burned. I am cautious of intense passion because that ends in heartbreak and I would much much prefer a slower climb.” — PM_Me_UrRightNipple

“Someone who hangs out with their friends without me, and lets me hang out with my friends on my own, without getting suspicious or jealous. They don’t have to spend every waking hour with me, and they shouldn’t.” — two-faced_

“Compatible lifestyles. I used to just date anyone who seemed interesting, but now I’m a boring old cat lady and I want a boring old cat man to be boring and old with me. Like, I need good conversation and things, but I like to mostly stay at home and work on my hobbies or just relax. It just wouldn’t work out with someone who isn’t the same in that regard.” — Turkeyinatree