12 Concrete Signs Your Partner Used To Be In A Toxic Relationship

Some exes are worst than others, so you have to be patient with your partner as they navigate new waters. Here are some signs your partner used to be in a toxic relationship and is still getting used to being loved the right way:

“I used to be in an abusive relationship and one thing I notice about myself is always needing reassurance that my partner is not mad at me. When being abused you learn to read your abuser’s moods. It has made me become increasingly over-analytical about everyone’s moods” — Commercial_Hat872

“If they shut down when their partner gets angry. I’m talking normal level anger, not unhealthy anger. They’re so used to being yelled at/belittled/in trouble that even small arguments will put them into survival mode. Constant apologizing or assuming they have done something wrong. Trouble making decisions for fear of making the wrong one.” — Ok-Wind-666

“Catering to everyone else’s needs at the drop of the hat but struggling to do the same things for themselves.” — tkkltart

“Always trying to figure out the hidden meaning of normal, direct conversations.” — Alexander_Elysia

“Fear of confrontation: when they avoid confrontation at any cost because it serves as a survival mechanism to protect themselves from harm.” — Candies-For-You

“Almost constantly asking if everything is all right. Every little mood shift makes them anxious and nervous. Every act, even if it has nothing to do with them will make them question the overall mood.” — laventurier_

“My husband mentioned that he knew something happened in my previous relationship because no matter how gentle his approach was toward me for a hug/kiss/etc I would flinch or brace just a slight bit because I couldn’t gauge his actions. “ — justmystupidself

“Love = drama. My ex-gf was in such a roller coaster previous relationship that she believed that fighting and making up all the time meant intense love. Stability was seen as something was wrong and that maybe I didn’t love her anymore. She was always looking for some type of drama which was one of the reasons we broke up.” — S-is-for-Superman

“Scared to ask for things. I had abusive parents who always found a reason to flip their shit at the smallest provocation. It’s hard to unlearn that asking for something won’t make people annoyed or hate me.” — Jay-Writer

“Assuming everything is a dig, criticism, or has covert meaning or intent. Someone can legitimately just make an observation about something you do/don’t do without it being malicious or mean spirited.“ — Psychological-Bear-9

“Extremely reluctant to share bad news, especially if it will inconvenience the partner. I’ve been out of an abusive relationship for 20 years, but had a panic attack before telling my absolutely mellow and loving husband that I’d need to borrow some money.” — insertcaffeine

“As the person from the abusive relationship, I can embarrassingly say, becoming the abuser. Not physical in any way and never intentional, but I say mean things. They just come out. I bring up everything he’s ever done wrong and I just cannot communicate properly. I hate it and am trying everything to fix it. Books, videos, pamphlets, TEDtalks, counseling. Things get better for a while but then I slide back into my brooding isolation.” — Mrs_Emmons