13 Married Couples On How They Knew Their Partner Was Different Than Their Exes

When you meet the right person, you’ll just know. Here are some couples explaining how they knew their partner was different than their exes:

“The biggest difference in my SO was his consistency. Texted and called consistently. Showed up for plans. He’s reliable and he was always all in. To him, we were always a team and he refused to walk away from that. My exes always put themselves first. They often didn’t consider how their actions would effect another person.” — Crolleen

“With my husband, I never felt like I had to justify myself. Exes would sometimes look at me funny when I was being silly, or fuss about stupid little things around the house. My husband likes to discuss things with me instead of standing behind ego. When I’m silly dancing or singing horribly to a song, he joins in. With my husband, I get to be me.” — nay2d2

“I could be completely myself, felt completely at ease and at home with him and wasn’t at all worried about what to talk about and what I needed to do to keep him interested in me. I felt like I was in an equal, healthy, respectful, and loving partnership and knew he would always be super loyal, committed and there for me.” — tengolacamisanegra

“It was apparent right away that she made me a better person. I had always been a good person and had always been employed, but being with her made me want to do more.” — Odd_craving

“I never got sick of being around her. 16 years and I haven’t yet. I can remember dating other women and just wishing I could be anywhere else.” — anghus

“It became clear early on that he thought of me as a complete person with my own independent path and not a girlfriend-shaped presence in his life who only existed to fit into it on his terms. He supported me without first thinking about what it meant for him, and took me for what I was without making it about him. We started dating at 21, and that was depressingly rare in other guys I had dated up until that point.” — KikiCanuck

“He just let me BE. It sounds really simple, but it isn’t. Being a woman you don’t realize how much criticism you get from male partners until it’s gone. In every other relationship I ever had I was constantly told things like, ‘You should grow your hair out’ ‘I like it when you wear X.’ I was also expected to take care of all domestic duties even though I generally worked more than my partners. And at the time it genuinely didn’t bother me. I thought that was just the way of things. Then I met my husband. He just really didn’t care about what I did with my appearance, he just wanted to know what my thoughts and opinions were. He isn’t even actively trying to be this way. His ideal partner is an equal one on all levels and it has been such a freeing experience for me. After ten years together I truly know who I am and even as I age and become ‘less attractive’ by society’s standards I have mountains of confidence. He taught me that being attractive and submissive was not the rent I had to pay to exist in the world. I would’ve never come to that realization without him. And I think we both have a better life together because of it.” — Metalmorphosis

“I didn’t have to try coming up with things to talk about. I didn’t pretend like I was really cool, I wasn’t shy about my honest opinion, I was able to be fully myself with this person, and it was so easy. I also felt no social energy being drained from hanging out with him, and still don’t. Both of us just knew. Still better than ever 8 years later.” — pikachuichoosesalad

“When your biggest relationship worry is that the snoring has always pushed others away, but she said on the first night, ‘Your snoring is like a comfort blanket to me. I slept like a baby knowing you were there with me.’” — Taurius

“I can always assume that she means the best in everything she says or does. It’s been over 10 years and she hasn’t let me down yet. I swear she doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body.” — Carl_Corey

“She wasn’t playing games. She didn’t insult or attack me just because she was angry. When she does get upset with me, she is able to communicate with me and doesn’t just passive-aggressively assume I should know what’s wrong. She doesn’t purposely try to make me jealous of other guys, just to ‘see how much I care.’ She doesn’t emotionally manipulate me or treat me like my thoughts and feelings are insignificant. She also didn’t expect me to ‘man up’ and ‘take care of shit, like a man’ by working myself to the bone while she stayed at home to do ‘women’s work.’ When I couldn’t find a job, she worked harder at hers, and when I found one and she needed a break, I worked harder at my job to afford a vacation for her. No one person should always handle the lion’s share, it’s about teamwork. She approached our relationship and our life together as something worth working for, something worth committing to, and something valuable.” — Bazilthestoner

“He actually listened to me when I talked, and if we had any sort of disagreements we’d talk it out. In the almost 8 years together we have never raised our voice or cussed each other out. We’ve had some ‘major’ disagreements but we never had a fight, we had a talk. He didn’t ‘allow’ me to do or not do things and accepted me as an individual and I to him. He also liked getting to know my family and friends. All in all he is a partner through and through and I am so happy I have him. He makes the bad times better. My ex did the opposite of all of those things and it took me almost a year to realize that small or large dealbreakers are dealbreakers and I deserve someone that makes me happy and not ashamed to be myself literally every single day.” — [deleted]

“If we would get into a fight, she would always apologize afterwards if she felt she had said something out of line. I had never been with anyone with that level of self-awareness and humility. Honestly, it has helped me be a better person from her examples. She’s also better looking than all my exes, so that helped.” — sweeetkiwi