15 Men Discuss How Their First Serious Girlfriend Helped Them Grow

Your first serious relationship can teach you a lot about how to love and how to accept love in return. Here are some men on the most important thing they learned from their original relationship:

“Getting into a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship is the worst reason to be in a relationship. Likewise, liking someone because they like you is the worst reason to like someone. You want to date a person, not their company.” — mox0716

“You don’t have to hate your ex. I hate this narrative that social media creates. We’re not friends, but I’d say hi if I ever saw them in the street, and I like to hear that they’re doing well. No hard feelings, you know? It was good while it lasted.” — marajadefan

“You’re never 100% compatible with the other person. You just have to find out if you can live with that 5% incompatibility, and if you don’t think you can, you need to leave ASAP. Don’t wait several years, hoping things will be different or that you will change your mind.” — MajorVezon

“Red flags on the first date won’t go away, so better to save yourself trouble and leave instead of leaving a few months later for those same flags, no matter how desperate you are.” — RealisticWerewolf9

“You are not responsible for the other person’s happiness if you aren’t happy yourself. Don’t feel obligated to stay just because you’ve been together a while.” — LordWisePhoenix

“Screaming at each other during arguments is not healthy.” — get-bread-not-head

“Consistent small things are far more valuable than big monthly or anniversary efforts. We get so busy and stressed by our own individual ‘career paths’, but we always find a way to squeeze in our love, either through a sweet long message, or even just a simple cup of coffee and staying up late. Love is consistency in small efforts, not by giving grand things that are just once in a blue moon.” — oinkzter

“Love isn’t enough of a reason to stay with someone who doesn’t respect you.” — hardboiledbeb

“Don’t ignore the red flags. Don’t let go of your self-respect.” — amangosummer

“I learned that being in a happy relationship means that you (as well as your partner) need to make compromises from time to time – because nobody is always on the same page with everything. But in the end of the day, if you want to be a team, you need to make it work. Once somebody is not willing to do that, the relationship is going down the drain…” — acaziah

“Just because you treat someone well doesn’t mean they’ll return the favor, and the amount of people you can trust in this world is a lot less than you think.” — danielson_105

“Despite how much you love someone, you can be incompatible.” — goondalf_the_grey

“How important pillow talk is. It takes little effort and seems minuscule but it can mean a lot to the other person and really strengthen your connection with the other person.” — ODIFIO

“It is very important to set personal boundaries and you should in no case become dependent on your partner.” — WhyANameWasTaken

“Being alone is better than forcing yourself to be with someone you don’t love.” — Ill-Sorbet3843