16 Old Married Couples Share Their Invaluable Advice For New Couples

Every relationship is different, but if you’re going to get love advice, you might as well listen to couples who have been together a long time. Here are a few pieces of advice for new couples from old married couples:

“Know when to shut up. A lot of people say that communication is important and a couple should be able to talk to each other, but not many people mention that it’s equally important to know when NOT to talk. Some things are just not helpful, they can only hurt your partner, and being honest with each other doesn’t mean saying whatever comes to mind without thinking.” — june_a

“Learn to let shit go. There will be epic issues for some marriages. But once you’ve put something to bed, it’s done. You don’t get to bring it up or hold it over their head or use it as a weapon.” — TheRavenGirl13

“Don’t sweat the small stuff. They’re not going to fold your underwear the way you do it but does it really matter? If you criticize every little thing they do, they’re not going to want to be around you for long.” — Rewdboy05

“You can’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. Ever. Just say the words out loud.” — NervousHour4129

“Help your partner achieve his/her goals with love and kindness.” — Just_a_Pym_Particle

“Marriage is not built on romantic feelings but on loyalty, trust, communication, and perseverance. Every day I make the choice to spend the rest of my life with this man.” — BananaVixen

“Grace. The other person is human. They’re going to F up. You have to accept that (within reason) and understand that you also F up. Forgiveness goes hand in hand with that.”

“Set boundaries for self-respect. Don’t put up with certain things but pick your battles. He can throw his socks wherever but I’m not his maid, either.” — TheRavenGirl13

“It’s not about you. Marriage is not for the selfish. Every day you have to wake up and be willing to serve. I don’t mean be subservient, it shouldn’t be a power struggle. It’s about doing what’s best for your marriage and your spouse.” — TheRavenGirl13

“You and your SO should be comfortable and happy, and yes that’s obvious but so many people ‘get bored’ and either leave or start running around. If you cannot sit in silence with your spouse, as well as go and be spontaneous together, then you need to figure out why. I know so many married people who are absolutely horrid to each other. I asked one friend, ‘Would you be friends with spouse if you weren’t married?’ She said no. That’s so sad and guaranteed to eventually end in disaster unless something is done. Be each other’s best friends. Lust eventually may disappear, but the friendship and comfort you give each other will keep you going.” — NeverEnoughSleep08

“When getting into disagreements, don’t try to solve it right away. Take 5-10 minutes to think it over separately, then talk it out. Taking the time to collect your thoughts will help prevent yelling, and big arguments.” — Limited_two

“Say thank you every time your partner does something for you or the marriage.” — BlumpKeto

“Honestly, space. Give each other space. Do different things, have different hobbies. It’ll help you grow as people and bring new, fresh perspectives to each other.” — everysundae

“Work can’t come first. If you put work first the rest will fail.” — OutisOd

“Take trips together, as often as possible WITHOUT THE KIDS. Date nights won’t cut it. You need extended time away to focus on each other and talk about goals/dreams and to remember why you’re together. If vacations are out of the budget, send the kids to grandparents or trade off with friends and have a staycation—but DO NOT use the time to do house repairs!! Have picnics, go for walks in local parks, find free museum days, do vacation stuff in your own town.” — DYITB

“Never keep score. It doesn’t matter if you did dishes last. If the dishes need done and you have time, do them.” — wehivo9

“Continue to act like you are courting your spouse. Date nights. Physical affection. Words and gestures of love. Keep winning her over and trying to surprise him/her in little ways. In short, put in the work to keep it fresh.” — greenskinMike