16 Signs Someone Was Raised By A Narcissistic Or Neglectful Parent

“Being shocked that their existence and actions are perceptible or meaningful to others. For example, they might easily blow off hangouts, not bother responding to texts, and show up late to things before quietly sitting down expecting that nobody really notices their presence or has any care whether or not they’re around in the first place unless it is presumably random/convenient. Usually it is surprising and hurtful to realize that this has actually made the other people feel bad, but it is done with the genuine belief that literally nobody cares and you have no possible influence on anybody’s life or feelings either way.” — puppy-belle

“Constantly apologizing for things that need no apologies. When they talk, they might be prone to fast-talking because they are not used to someone listening to them or someone not talking over them.” — onesmilematters

“Extreme defensiveness. Growing up you felt like you had to fight to the death for what you knew was right because you were constantly being told that things you saw in front of you, or experienced firsthand, didn’t happen.” — NuclearFamilyReactor

“Being over-prepared. Whether work, school, home (emergency kits, etc) or just in your bag or car (I have bandaids! Need a safety pin? Need Neosporin or Tylenol? Need a snack?) because you have to take care of yourself AND you can also then be a people-pleaser.” — Commercial-Heat3998

“Compulsive lying. For some people, if they weren’t safe as a child to trust the adults in their life with their feelings, they can develop a sense of safety in lying. It helps them to feel like their personal inner truth is protected because nobody can invalidate it if they don’t know about it.” — dctr6re

“Fear of abandonment, especially completely unexpected. Believing people will find someone better, or they get sick of you. Believing what makes you unique are actually flaws—and more reasons to leave.” — _copperboom_

“Gets discouraged easily and always need words of affirmation because they didn’t receive any from parents. If they make a small mistake they can’t help but keep thinking about it over and over again and feel like everyone in the world hates them” — Mozzaella

“People pleasing resulting in a lack of healthy boundaries. Such as putting others’ needs before your own and having a hard time saying no. And then once you do say no, wondering if they are mad or going to leave you.” — _copperboom_

“Hoarding certain things, like they never had enough and now cannot be without or afraid someone will take it away.” — Historical-Bird526

“Tearing up as soon as they start to talk about how they feel. Without exception I’ve noted this is something people who weren’t allowed to have emotions as a child do.” — Potential-Height7382

“They try to be invisible. When you get attention from someone you don’t feel good because you weren’t used to getting attention in your childhood. And when I did get attention growing up it was negative. Anytime I was so much as perceived people would find a flaw in my existence and I’d get in trouble or bullied.” — bbcc258

“For me, I literally do not ask for help until the situation is literally basically life or death. Asking help for physical tasks, mental health, advice, you name it. I’m a hyper independent individual and being vulnerable and open just isn’t in my personality.” — Slumerican27

“Feeling weirded out by someone being genuinely nice to you because you’re that used to all the abuse you endured growing up. You wholeheartedly believe that ‘they’re only nice b/c they’re obligated to’ just like people from your past did to you.” — katmio1

“Not wanting people to be behind them or loom/look over their shoulder. I can’t deal with this at all. It makes me very anxious, feel like I’m going to be scolded or attacked.” — Commercial-Heat3998

“I don’t trust promises that people make. I avoid conflict as much as possible and tend to look for an exit if things get loud or if people move fast. I try not to be a burden to anyone, but I’m always checking in with people to make sure someone cares about them. I don’t like spending money on myself and if anyone buys me anything, I feel guilty or like it might be held over my head. I find more comfort alone or with animals than most people. I’m worried that I’m constantly disappointing people around me or wondering why anyone would want to be my friend or a romantic partner.” — lizardgizzards

“Having an insecure attachment style and being out of touch with your feelings because you had no one to teach you how to regulate them.” — MiIllIin