Hannah Xu

17 People Share Their Darkest Shower Thoughts, And They’ll Change The Way You See Things

Ever had a weird or wise thought pop in your head the moment you hopped in the shower? That steady stream of hot water can conjure up all manner of ideas. In fact, some people have gone to the r/ShowerThoughts subreddit to share some of their darkly funny shower thoughts that may just have you thinking differently from now on.

Alien Meetings Gone Wild

“Humans cannot even live in harmony with their own species and somehow still convince themselves that meeting an extra-terrestrial species would go smoothly.” – u/[deleted]

How Healthy Are Night Joggers Really?

“People who jog on the roads in the dark, wearing dark clothing and no lights or reflectors, are a unique combination of a person who cares about their health and well-being and doesn’t care about their health and well-being.” – u/MrSeverum

Humans’ Corpse To Water Ratio

“People will swim in the ocean, even though there are definitely many corpses in it. People will not swim in a pool with a corpse in it. Humans all have a corpse:water ratio that is acceptable for them to swim in.” – u/JollyTraveler

Blood Contracts Are Best

“Signing contracts with blood actually makes sense. A written signature can be forged or ambiguous, but the DNA test will always show whose signature it is.” – u/thetimujin

Our Bodies Are Amazing

“The fact that bodies decompose and rot after they die just shows how much our bodies do to keep us alive from contaminates.” – u/itzphantomzz5461

Your Death Is A Convenient Excuse

“There is a chance that someone you know will use your death as an excuse to get out of a social obligation they don’t want to go to.” – u/Vast-Intention

The Sad Truth About Men’s Funeral Flowers

“Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.” – u/Publandlady

Horror Movie TVs Will Never Be The Same

“Old TV static was a lot scarier for horror movies than ‘HDMI 1 not connected.'” – u/DontUpvoteThisBut

Does This Make Herbivores Evil?

“Stories usually put horns on evil or scary creatures, but in nature only herbivores have horns.” – u/crocodoodles

Mount Everest Is A DNA Treasure Trove

“If future humans were ever desperate for DNA from the past, there is a potentially viable source in all the bodies frozen on the trail near the top of Mount Everest.” – u/N00N12

Toddlers: The World’s Deadliest Humans

“Toddlers are the most consistently violent subgroup of the population.” – u/joeChump

In The Past, Speed Killed

“Until trains were invented in 1804, every human who ever lived that experienced a speed upwards of 56 mph, was falling to their death.” – u/baiqibeendeleted17x

Watch Out For Bad Luck In The Dark

“The ‘black cat crossing your path is bad luck’ thing probably came from tripping over them in the dark.” – u/Skumdog_Packleader

A Funeral Full of Strangers

“If you’re still pretty young, chances are you still haven’t met the majority of people who will attend your funeral.” – u/Deusque

No Warm Welcome For Zombies

“When you die people beg you to come back, but when you actually do all you will hear is screaming.” – u/GrumpMCPE

Graveyards Aren’t So Spooky After All

“Graveyards are probably the least likely place to be haunted, because realistically none of the people buried died there.” – u/WhiteWhenWrong

Harry Potter And The Potions Addict

“In the Harry Potter universe, instead of drugs they have potions, so they probably have potion addicts and potion dealers. Some wizards are likely in potion rehab, and unfortunately some die from potion overdose.” – u/DystopianAdvocate