19 Lessons On Life And Love From ‘The Bachelorette’ Season 19

The Bachelorette season 19 had buzz about it being the most dramatic season ever. Lots of TV has lots of drama, and this did not disappoint. But just because it’s drama doesn’t mean that it’s TV junk food. If you watch TV with a critical eye and with your heart intact, there can be lots of takeaways, even about some of the slimiest behavior. Read on for just 19 takeaways from the season of Gabby and Rachel! Let’s take it away!

1. Big dads can be softies. Rachel’s dad is a big guy named Tony, who looks like he could be in the mafia. But he is unwaveringly supportive of Rachel. He says the sweetest things! It must give her very high standards for male behavior.

2. Already having kids can be a big deal. Gabby’s heart was broken over having to break up with Nate because she wasn’t ready to be a mom yet. It’s nice that she doesn’t take motherhood lightly. Just because somebody feels like a dream man doesn’t mean that there can’t be some realistic checks and balances.

3. Having a non-narcissistic nickname can be fun for everybody. Meatball was beloved by both Gabby and Rachel and seemingly the whole cast. Did the crew also fall in love with Meatball? Women on reality shows always have nicknames like “Peachy” and “Saffire.” Meatball was so beloved, however, that he even got a second chance on the show.

4. Mullets can be sexy. Does Erich have a mullet? What is that hairdo, actually? Nobody knows, but every haircut deserves a chance. It seems that based on the season finale, with Zach meeting castmates for the next season, these women will all have traditional reality show cuts. They didn’t learn that being different rocks!

5. Twins can be confusing. Was anybody taken aback that the twins were voted off immediately? They were barely given a chance for us to tell them apart. They were not accommodated at all. Were these the first twins the ladies had ever met? They had never had to tell a pair of twins apart? I thought twins were supposed to be the hottest thing ever.

6. The United States is a diverse place. From Florida to New Jersey and beyond, no American quirks were left unturned. Potentially the most striking American culture was Aven’s hometown of Salem, Massachusetts, home historically of the Salem witch trials. It was nice to see witchery thriving there today.

7. You can’t confirm that you want to get engaged until it is happening. Aven was for engagement. Then he was against it. It seemed like he didn’t even know at times. Erich didn’t know. It’s nice that these men are so present that engagement seems to be a decision made in real time. Rings are so small and fit into your pocket in such a concealed way. Maybe guys just carry them around at all times.

8. You can be in love with more than one person at the same time. It seemed catastrophic that Clayton was in love with more than one person at the same time. But this season it was ubiquitous. Is it possible? We love our dads and moms at the same time. So why not love more than one person romantically? It’s dramatic, however.

9. Sex can change everything. Zach was really into Rachel until fantasy suites. What happened? Everything was so vague. Apparently Rachel’s personality was very different that night. Her slits seem so sexy, but is she really just a Clark Kent when it comes to being on camera? Or was it the opposite?

10. Engagement is more important than love? Both girls were so hellbent on engagement, romantic statements from the men that were anything other than engagement-oriented were dismissed. And there were some very romantic statements! I guess women do feel a biological clock. Their dominance seemed almost feminist, but traditionally feminists feel powerful when they are independent of men.

11. Family is where the heart is. Gabby did not feel love from her mother, so she went to live with her grandfather. As Jesse Palmer mentioned, Twitter was hellbent on Grandpa John becoming the next Bachelor! He is so sweet and caring. Gabby said she loves him during the finale and meant it. Once again, big shoes to fill.

12. Meeting somebody’s family is a big deal. Everything seemed to be going pretty well with Rachel and Tyler until it came time to meet his family in New Jersey. Does Rachel have a phobia of New Jersey that Gabby does not have? Was the boardwalk less satisfactory than it is in the show Jersey Shore? In any event, Rachel’s heart was no longer in it for Tyler, so she backed out of meeting his family. Maybe for the best.

13. Jesse Palmer is the best. Don’t we all want Jesse Palmer to be our therapist? He handles every situation with graceful tact and neutrality, and yet also with undying compassion. How did they find this guy? Sorry, ladies, he’s taken!

14. Slits are in. The third bachelorette was really the prominent use of slits. I guess they really pop on TV. It’s something for Gen X moms to talk about with disdain. It’s something for narcissists to be aghast at. It’s something for fashionistas to ooh and ahh over. Is it something for guys to oggle or cringe at? Guys are so mysterious.

15. Talking about sex too early can be tacky. Castmate Chris mentioned the fantasy suites very early and seemed to be somewhat like Clayton in his thinking. This is a definite no from the ladies. They squealed that it was way too early to talk about anyway. We do live in a Tinder culture, so maybe it wasn’t too early to talk about sex. But it has to be in the right way.

16. Once you’re in love with somebody, it’s hard to see them with somebody else. The final guys were in agony as the girls kept dating other men. Yes, we live in a culture where dating a few different people at one time can be a thing. But what about so long down the road? There’s polyamory, but so far Bachelor Nation has ignored this trend.

17. Forgiveness can be a peaceful thing. In the season finale of the 19th season of The Bachelorette, Gabby forgave Erich for a texting scandal. It seems to have gone very well in both of their hearts. Nobody’s perfect, I guess. We all want a classy relationship from start to finish and apparently before the relationship starts as well. But in lieu of perfection, forgiveness can be a virtue.

18. You have to follow your heart. Rachel found Tino’s cheating unforgivable. Whether you think this guy made a one-time mistake, or if a cheater is a cheater, Rachel did follow her heart. She seemed distraught over his cheating, but she also seemed certain that she made the right choice. It’s good to separate those two things in your feelings.

19. Girls can be friends. Gabby and Rachel seemingly did a great job of getting along. Sure, we only see less than 1% of the footage. But if there was any drama, I’m glad that they didn’t air it. People like to act out this show. Therapists have to watch it for homework. So, of all the incredible things they gave us to act out, I’m glad female drama isn’t one of them.