Have you ever sat in a darkened movie theater, tempted to yell “Don’t go into the basement!” at the screen? We’ve all felt like we’d handle a horror movie better than the main characters. Horror movie victims are notoriously dumb. So when a reddit user asked what horror movies people think they could survive, there were some hilariously relatable answers.
The Strangers (2008)
“The Strangers. The characters pissed me off the whole time. First of all, DON’T SPLIT UP. Also, TURN ON THE FUCKING LIGHTS. Then grab the guns, camp out in the middle of the house, and wait for the killers to either leave or come for you, then blow their brains out.” – u/sjl1021
A Quiet Place (2018)
“Maybe not easily, but if I were in A Quiet Place, I’d live next to that waterfall.” – u/ChillyFireball
Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark (2010)
“Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark. Those things are six inches tall! All you need is a golf club or hockey stick, and one of those LED headlamps that last 1,000 hours.” – u/[deleted]
Jeepers Creepers (2001)
“Jeepers Creepers. Fucking idiots decide to investigate someone quite obviously shoving a dead body into a basement, in the middle of nowhere, without calling the police or letting anyone know where they are. AFTER that same creepy person tried his best to run them off the road. Fuuuck that.” – u/SaliciousSeafoodSlut
“1408. ‘Excuse me, that room’s haunted…’
‘Cool, thanks for the tip.’ I immediately seek a separate hotel.” – u/Danyawelly
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
“Blair Witch Project. ‘We’re filming where? Looking for what? Oh ok I’m not coming to that.'” – u/BinaryBlasphemy
The Descent (2005)
“The Descent. ‘Well those are some well prepared young ladies who look to be off spelunking…’ as I drive on by. Blink and you miss me!” – u/BartenderOU812
When A Stranger Calls (2006)
“When A Stranger Calls. I don’t answer calls from numbers I don’t know.” – u/Demon-Senpai
“Jaws. Stay on land, problem solved.” – u/MrRipShitUp
The Mist (2007)
“The Mist. Literally, because all you had to do was bunker down and not go the fuck outside till the military showed up.
To answer the one thing people keep addressing, yes I do not know the military is gonna clean their mess up. However I am home almost all the time, that 10% chance I am outside at the time can be negated.
But the book version? No no no, I would definitely be dead 100%.” – u/[deleted]
The Invitation (2015)
“The Invitation. Because I never get invited to anything.” – u/cointelpro_shill
“Halloween. I’m pretty sure I could out run Michael Myers. Do I get to hear the music? That would increase my survival rate 100%.” – u/kellywithayy
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
“Texas Chain Saw Massacre. It’s Texas, I’d just find someone with a gun or a gun store and arm up.” – u/cryptidhunter101
Child’s Play (1988)
“It. I’m not a child. And knowing that something would grow more powerful the more I fear it would probably cause some sort of reaction where I stop fearing it out of spite.” – u/The_Rhine
“Scream. I hated parties when I was a teenager and when kids started getting knocked off, I’d have gotten the hell out of town and stayed with my Dad. He has guns!” – u/AllElse11
“Hellraiser. The Cenobites, for being interdimensional torture demons, are fairly easily tricked. They even say ‘no more of your tricks, I will tear your soul apart.’ And then they immediately get tricked again.
Also, I have a strict policy of not fucking with anything that shady men with dirty fingernails sell me. Zappy golden puzzlebox? Nope, I’ll just play my vidya, thanks.” – u/OttoVonJismarck
Don’t Knock Twice (2016)
“Don’t Knock Twice, I think. Who knocks exactly twice on a door? Use the damn doorbell.” u/PinkPumpkinPie64
The Purge (2013)
“The Purge. It’s been shown that the purge’s main purpose is to kill political figures, as well as people with grudges. I’m nobody to nobody, so I’ll just run into a wooded area with lots of growth, and sleep in a bush until Purge is over.
No one is looking for me, and no one is searching the woods unless they chase someone into them. Purge is next week? Yeah, I’m going camping.” – u/Onlyhereforthelaughs