20 Signs Your ‘Complicated’ Relationship Is Actually Super Toxic

“The idea that whatever you say can make them mad, so you start choosing every word way too carefully and end up not speaking your mind to avoid a fight.” — pandorous

“They view you as a burden. They would avoid spending time with you if they could. You are made to feel that you should be grateful that they are ‘allowing’ you to live in their home and having your other physical needs (food, clothes, etc) met when they could easily kick you out onto the street at a moment’s notice.” — Cuish

“Your feelings are being invalidated. ‘You got mad at that?’ when you say you’re upset by something that they did.” — Sorry-Caterpillar331

“Being stalked at work or wherever you go. Having to ‘check in’ to get approval before doing anything.” — Tr33mari3

“If you have to wait until your S/O is in a ‘good mood’ to bring up a problem you have in the relationship, you should get out ASAP.” — supreme_dumplings

“One partner always gets their way. For me, it was ‘easier’ to bend over backward than to deal with the whining and complaining if I stood my ground. Easier is in quotes because it was only easier in the short term – long term made life hell.” — The_Griffin_Scimitar

“They’re extremely negative and critical all of the time and they never offer anything positive to a discussion. This also extends to them never being happy for you in any way. Example: getting good grades at school or a job promotion at work.” — Cuish

“Lack of autonomy. Things like having to vet every little thing you do with a partner, being isolated from outside relationships and not self actualizing outside of the context of ‘part of a couple.’ There is usually a power imbalance or at the very least an unhealthy level of codependency.” — Big_Requirement_3540

“No communication and everything is a blame game with no acceptance of responsibility.” — Secret_Agent_666

“Keeping score. ‘I did this last time.’ Or ‘You never do that.’ Leads to anger at the other person for no reason.” — Nagman15

“They view you as a punching bag. Meaning that if they’re having a bad day for whatever reason that had absolutely nothing to do with you, they’ll lash out at you regardless.” — Cuish

“A shared Facebook account. It just screams insecurity, infidelity, and toxicity.” — Divine_Femininity

“When they say we need to work on our communication, but every time you bring anything up they get mad and start an argument.” — thepottsy

“Break up, make up, break up, make up, rinse, and repeat.” — True-Mousse4957

“One person does all of the housework/cooking/chores/shopping/maintenance/childcare, yet the other person continues to complain that they don’t do it right.” — turkeysandwich1982

“Lack of friends on one side. I’ve known a couple people, who one of them wouldn’t be ‘allowed’ to have friends. Their only friends were the friends of their partner. Massive red flag.” — closetmangafan

“When the efforts toward the relationship are highly imbalanced, one doing the receiving, the other doing all the giving.” — Roastingisflattery

“When they are at a restaurant together and both of them are on the phone for the entire diner. And no, I don’t mean some cute elderly couples who check their phone for messages from their grandchildren, I mean couples who actively ignore each other and both seem pissed about the fact that they are spending time together.” — MYNAMEISHENDRIK

“If someone refuses to apologize for any reason, ever. It means they put their pride before the person they are with and the relationship.” — DontTalkAboutBruno1

“Double standards or expecting your partner to do something for you that you’d never do for them.” — ImmoralModerator