27 Things You Should Forgive Yourself For Right Now
1. Forgive yourself for loving people who broke your heart.
To love someone is to take a chance by putting both feet in and giving yourself a shot. Sometimes chances don’t work out. But do not chain your beating heart and ask it to never try again. You deserve to keep loving.
2. Forgive yourself for not being able to move on from someone you love.
The truth is, we never move on from love. We learn to fill our lives with new people and experiences that are worthy of giving our attention to. Often, we take time to find the right people and experiences. Hold on, it gets better.
3. Forgive yourself for the promises you had to break to stay true to your evolving self.
There will be times when letting go of old promises is the only way we can honestly show up in our relations and work as the people we now are. Allow this for yourself so that you can create stronger relations and truer work.
4. Forgive yourself for giving so many chances to people who abused them.
We give out the chances that we wish people would have given us or ones we hope are offered to us if we need them. This grace is not a sign of foolishness but a marker of your abundant hope and your desire to be the change.
5. Forgive yourself for not knowing better about anything before you did.
We’re raised in a world that peddles perfectionism as excellence, so it’s natural to expect a good life to be one without errors. But life is messy and complicated, and the only way to move through it is by bumping into some blocks.
6. Forgive yourself for hating your body before it even grew into its folds and curves of adulthood.
Right when we are about to bloom into our power, we are asked to start shrinking and taking up as little room as possible. Perhaps it is finally time to give your body permission to be without haranguing it for the hundred ways it is too much.
7. Forgive yourself for not being somewhere you wanted to be in life by now.
Most of us operate with timelines that we came up with as children, without any real understanding of what we really want, how to get there, and how even that changes every now and then. Your journey is not just a thin line with notable highs. It is a rich, multi-layered, and gorgeous story.
8. Forgive yourself for making decisions that didn’t pan out well despite the time you spent making them.
No matter what, we will all make tons of decisions that we’d like to change with hindsight. But decisions keep us moving, and so we have to find the courage to make them, learn from them, and tread onward.
9. Forgive yourself for the obvious things about your life that you couldn’t see because you were standing in its one blind spot.
None of us can see ourselves objectively, and in many places, we will have tunnel vision. Instead of beating yourself up for being human, invest in building trust in those around you. Have people in your life whose wisdom can help you navigate pathways you cannot see.
10. Forgive yourself for not knowing what your best life is supposed to look like.
An authentic life is usually one we build by staying true to our evolving selves. In this case, you would only know that you are leading your best life while you are in it. Focus on what you feel now and what feels like the right next step.
11. Forgive yourself for having an endless list of reasons as to why you think you haven’t found a partner yet.
Those of us who thrash ourselves about this usually care enough to stay open and try. And those are the only two things that you really need to find your person. In some cases, it just takes a while.
12. Forgive yourself for everything your anxiety took away from you.
Anxiety can make us doubt ourselves and others. It can ruin relationships, job opportunities, and anything new that we try out. But this doesn’t mean that you have something in your head that is doomed to destroy you. Understand how to read your anxiety and what it’s telling you.
13. Forgive yourself for struggling to reach out for help when you’ve needed it.
In a society brimming with self-help books and hustle mantras, it can feel like we are all against each other, that no one has the time or interest to be there for someone else. The only way to take apart that narrative is through our actions. Ask for guidance and support. Let people help you so that someday, they’ll know it’s okay to ask for help when they need it too.
14. Forgive yourself for future tripping.
This means that you want to ensure the security, quality, and beauty of your future. It’s a sign that you show up in your life and that is a powerful thing. Gently bring yourself back to the present, which is your site of action.
15. Forgive yourself for wanting answers from people who do not want to give them to you.
Closure is necessary to move on and the easiest way to get it is from direct answers. But even if you don’t get those answers, you still have the ability to give yourself closure. Refusing to answer is an answer.
16. Forgive yourself for wishing for apologies from people who do not think they’ve wronged you.
We look for apologies because our minds tell us that it’s what will quell the anger. But it’s alright to be angry for as long as you need. Let the rage move through you—it will leave when you’ve let yourself feel all of it.
17. Forgive yourself for not having spoken your truth in places you wish you did.
For those of us whose truths have been ignored and shunned across our lives, it’s natural to be cautious about the spaces we let it out in. The good news is that your life will be filled with opportunities to share your truth, to say it louder and clearer until it’s the melody floating about you, drawing the right people to you.
18. Forgive yourself for showing your authentic self to people who couldn’t understand it.
Your quirks and idiosyncrasies are the most original and stunning parts of you. They form the perfect net to catch only those souls that resonate with your own, let the rest go.
19. Forgive yourself for crossing your own boundaries.
If you didn’t grow up with a sense of agency around who and what you can allow for yourself, it takes time to build that muscle. Knowing that you’ve overextended yourself is proof that it’s working.
20. Forgive yourself for communicating your pain imperfectly.
Pain has a force of its own that cannot always be contained or directed by us. Those who know you, love you, and want to understand you will find a way to keep choosing you.
21. Forgive yourself for the times you’ve had to let go of people you love.
Love alone is not enough to keep everyone we want with us. Sometimes, we love people who cause us harm or keep us from growing how we should. Remember that you can hold someone in your heart and choose to not have them in your life.
22. Forgive yourself for the times you’ve had to let go of a self you loved.
Consider that perhaps our older selves do not dissipate but keep living in us, in the memories our minds and bodies have stored. Perhaps the self you now are rests upon the beam of all your previous selves.
23. Forgive yourself for struggling to stay soft and open in this world.
This world is just as easy to despair in as it is to love in. And while the former comes reflexively, the latter takes effort. It’s okay if there are days and situations where you cannot make that effort, where you need to be rough and unyielding. Know that you can always return to softness the next time.
24. Forgive yourself for taking time to work through your trauma.
We could all use the constant reminder that healing looks different for everyone. It takes some of us longer than it takes others and that is perfectly alright. Heal in your own time, rebuild in your own way.
25. Forgive yourself for being slower than your friends and peers to arrive at some places in life.
This usually happens because of unavoidable detours or pit stops. Do not forget that learning, unlearning, and restoring are all necessary and individual to each of us.
26. Forgive yourself for comparing your life to the highlight reels on social media.
We know that everyone’s life is imperfect, and yet we all compare. So maybe we can normalize this behavior a little more and cut ourselves some slack for it. Instead of forcing yourself to not compare, build better boundaries around who you surround yourself with, online and offline. Make intentional self-appreciation a regular ritual.
27. Forgive yourself for your healing and progress being non-linear, messy, and filled with breaks.
Remember that the point was never to get excellent at healing but to heal in ways that help you lead a better life. Give yourself time, you cannot undo how far you’ve come. Keep trusting, keep going.