4 Birth Months Who Hate Grand Romantic Gestures

Human personalities range across all sorts of spectrums, and one of them is the romantic/pragmatic spectrum. Whereas many people would insist that love makes the world go ’round, there are others who’d say, “Don’t be silly, you starry-eyed sap—the forces of gravity make the world go around. Love has nothing to do with it.”

Although some people just can’t seem to live without flowers, chocolates, candlelit dinners, spontaneous road trips to secluded beaches or mountain cabins, and making your romance “official” on social media, other people feel completely nauseated by such displays. They have a spontaneous gag reflex at the sight of people snuggling and cuddling and kissing and canoodling.

Here are the four birth months that don’t mind having sex and might not even have a problem with falling in love—it’s just that they tend to see displays of affection, especially public ones, as corny and childish.

September

It’s not a coincidence that of all the birth months, September is the only one represented by a creature who hasn’t even lost their virginity. As an Earth sign, they are rooted. Grounded. Practical. Pragmatic. They prefer to live with their feet on the ground rather than their with head in the clouds. They are driven by their brains far more than by their heart. Any kind of post-childhood displays of cuteness, especially between romantic partners, can make them want to vomit. They are so unromantic, they’d rather give you money to buy flowers than to pick out the flowers themselves.

January

The humorless worker drones of the year, those born in January tend to be rational and goal-oriented. Being an Earth sign ruled by Saturn, they can be realistic to a fault. They see overt romanticism as the polar opposite of reality. They tend to view the entire mating ritual as a simple chemical process that Mother Nature binds us all to so we can perpetuate the species. So to them, mating is just another task to check off their “To Do” list. Like a high-powered vacuum cleaner can suck the mold, dirt, and dust mites out of a carpet, those born in January can suck the romance out of a starry night on the French Riviera. The idea of posing cheek-to-cheek with someone for a selfie can make their flesh crawl. Not all of them, of course—just a lot of them.

June

A flighty and unpredictable air sign, those born in June have trouble with both romance and commitment. They are also one of the most insecure birth months, so they feel that expressing affection makes them weak and vulnerable. So don’t expect to get a Valentine from them. Don’t hold your breath waiting for them to tape cute little notes to your front door. Don’t expect to be awakened one morning by the sound of music and look outside to see them leading a string quartet and serenading you with romantic songs. The best way to win their attention is through their stomach (they love fine foods) or in the boudoir (they are incurable horndogs). But any kind of schmoopy-schmoop displays of affection will probably be a huge turnoff for them.

May

Have you ever seen a bull? Does it look like it’s capable of falling in love? Have you ever tried sweet-talking a bull? I wouldn’t recommend it. You might wind up getting gored. As an Earth sign with a fixed modality, May leans toward being stubbornly unaffectionate. Whether male or female, they are likely to find romantic gestures to be repulsively weak and effeminate. It’s not that they’re incapable of commitment. And once you’ve proved worthy of their trust, they can be one of the most loyal birth months of the year. But you’re best advised to tiptoe around the maudlin sentimentality, because it’s all bullshit to someone born in May.