4 Things People Quit Giving a Damn About in Their 30s

So, you’re now 30-something, woohoo! You survived the roaring 20s, which revolved mainly around cheap beer, massive hangovers, job hopping, and a great deal of self-loathing for far too many failed relationship attempts. But here’s the real secret: Being in your 30s is way better. I swear you wake up more mature the day after your 30th birthday; it’s as if the universe suddenly gifted you a small sip of wisdom. Along with that wisdom comes four things people quit giving a damn about in their 30s.

1. You stop trying to be friends with everyone.

I truly think I can count on one hand how many friends I have now at the ripe age of 31. And two of those individuals may or may not be my sisters. Suddenly, the massive house parties where you quasi-know people stop and your evenings become filled with a small gathering for deck beers and everyone goes home by 9:30. But those few hours are so much more meaningful than the ragers and bar-close hours of your 20s.

2. Suddenly, your parents don’t seem as dumb.

I don’t mean to be disrespectful by saying parents are dumb, but generally any sort of life advice solicited by your parents while you’re in your 20s goes in one ear and out the other. Don’t buy that car. Why are you taking out the maximum amount on your student loans? Don’t you think it’s too early for a beer? Attend class or what’s the point? In your 30s, all of those comments that felt like nagging start to soak in and you realize how valid and warranted their questioning was. You’ll even find yourself in moments making decisions that are similar to what your parents would want without even having to think about it, which is really when you know you’re growing up.

3. You may not look like you did at 21, and that’s perfectly okay.

As I reminisce back on my didn’t-realize-my-body-was-so-hot phase at 22 and think about how little I appreciated it at the time, I suddenly feel an intense wave of appreciation for the few extra pounds that my midsection might carry now. Perhaps those few pounds are from having children or putting in extra hours at the office to level up (which may or may not include unintentional snacking)—whatever the reason, life has taught you that you don’t have to be size 4 any longer. And that is perfectly and blissfully okay. If you’re still that size 4, then you’re a mutant.

4. You no longer find 25-year-olds super attractive.

When I was younger, I was convinced I would always find the young Abercrombie model guys outside of the store attractive. And that I would never think men in their 30s, 40s, or 50s were worth my time—outside of Richard Gere, the silver fox, of course. But your taste matures and a shift happens often without you realizing it. Maybe you’ll be at a party or out somewhere and notice a man or woman that you can’t quite place their age, but you know for sure they aren’t a spring chicken, and you think to yourself how insanely attractive they are. Yet another sign you’re maturing in your 30s.

Overall, the 30s so far have been way more enjoyable than my 20s. When I swipe my debit card, I no longer have to wait impatiently while the card reader decides if it’s going to accept or reject my transaction. I don’t have to go out every single night of the week looking like I was coming from the homecoming dance with my skimpy dress and heels I couldn’t walk in. And a 9 pm.m bedtime became one of the most beautiful habits to ever exist.