4 Zodiac Signs That Are Fearful-Avoidant

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Psychologists assign four different “attachment styles” to describe how people relate to others in close relationships:

  • Secure (this is obviously the best style to have)
  • Dismissive (which often manifests as aloof, detached, and even egotistical)
  • Anxious (characterized by feeling dependent and unworthy)
  • Fearful-avoidant (the topic of our discussion)

Fearful-avoidant attachment style, also known as “disorganized attachment style,” is primarily characterized by a fear of closeness, of coming on too strong, and an intense dread of abandonment, which often leads to self-sabotaging behaviors that are designed to avoid the horror of being outright rejected by one’s partner.

Psychologists believe that people develop a fearful-avoidant attachment style as a result of receiving mixed—i.e., “disorganized”—messages from their primary caregivers as children. And since the trauma of rejection or coldness from a caregiver often forces one to detach from their emotions, people who develop the disorder in adulthood often seek closeness with others but will subconsciously distance themselves, by any means necessary, once they fear that they are getting “too” close.

It is their fear of intimacy that leads them to avoid closeness. Thus the term “fearful-avoidant.” Since they grew up with mixed messages from those who were supposed to love them, they wind up sending out mixed messages to would-be loved ones: “I hate you, but please don’t leave me!”

Here are the four zodiac signs most likely to develop a fearful-avoidant attachment style.

1. Cancer

Widely regarded as the most emotional sign in the zodiac, there’s a reason that Cancer is symbolized by the Crab—in a world that is often cold and uncaring, one needs an outer protective shell to protect oneself from having their hearts crushed. Burnt and scarred by rejection and indifference, they can never quite bring themselves to believe that someone may feel as strongly about them as they do about others. Like everyone with a fearful-avoidant attachment style, they find it nearly impossible to soothe themselves. Even on the sunniest day, they are prone to hallucinating dark clouds somewhere in the distance. 

2. Libra

Although Libra is symbolized by the Scales, all pretense of balance and rationality is abandoned once romance enters the picture. Intensely insecure due to long-buried childhood issues such as being adopted, raised by a single parent, or having parents that constantly argued in front of them, they both deeply crave an emotional attachment but also will go to extreme lengths to sabotage it once they find it within reach. This often manifests in accusatory behavior toward their partner—accusations of cheating, flagrant displays of distrust such as “Why didn’t you answer your phone last night?,” and a refusal to accept genuine expressions of love because they’ve been conditioned all their lives to simply believe that they’re unlovable.

3. Gemini

The Twins are the masters of indecision, and this comes into frighteningly stark focus in their attachment styles. Once they find the “perfect” partner, suddenly they see flaws that were invisible only yesterday. Suddenly their exes look good by comparison. Suddenly that person they keep seeing at the coffee shop seems like the real perfect partner. The moment they find a good thing, they immediately start seeking a way to ruin it. What’s most heartbreaking and tragic about this behavioral pattern is that they realize they do it, that it only leads to loneliness again, and once they’re isolated they cry out for attachment, but the second they find someone who vows to never let them be lonely again, they start pushing them away.

4. Pisces

Although as a water sign, Pisces is disposed toward all of the hyper-emotionality and teardrops this can bring, they hesitate to express their emotions with their special someone for fear of coming off as too needy, clingy, or simply pathetic. In turn, no matter how deeply and sincerely someone expresses affection toward them, no matter how many gestures they make such as uprooting their lives, changing their job, or moving to another state just to be with them, Pisces tends to mistrust even the most blatantly positive affirmations—“I’ll bet you say that to all the boys/girls” is their stock response. It leads to an endlessly downward spiral of heartbreak, temporary healing, and then more heartbreak.