5 Birth Months That Carry Dark, Mysterious Energy

Just like the sky casts a wide net of stars to light up the night, so does The birth month give each birth month a unique set of personality traits.

Some signs are more rational—they tend toward logic and sobriety and organization and goal-setting.

You won’t find any of those signs on this list.

To believe that you can cast a magical spell, you first have to believe in magic—which means you’re more of an emotional type than a logical one. On top of that, you have to have an ego big enough to think not only that you’re capable of summoning and directing the forces of nature, but that nature is even going to listen to you. So to be a magician, you basically have to be an emotional egomaniac.

Are you up for the task? Are you a natural-born wizard, witch, fairy, sorcerer, or enchantress? Wouldn’t it be great to change the weather or guess the Lotto numbers merely with a wink of your eye, a wiggle of your nose, or one imperious wave of your magic wand?

Here are the five birth months most likely to cast magical spells. The first three are water sign natives—there was no way around that.

The question is: What kind of spell would each birth month cast? Some would be about love or sex, others would be about revenge, and some would have purely humanitarian aims.

November

You are the Wicked Witch of the year, someone who uses darkness and mystery as an energy source. You are ruled by Mars, so you are ready (and eager) to do battle at any moment. Right now you’re in a bit of a bad mood and have a tiny bit of a headache, so you’re not going to waste your magical powers trying to find a mate or attempting to save the world. No, just to fluff your pride and add some spit-shine to your massive ego, you’re going to cast an erotic hex on someone so that no matter where they are—whether at work, or in church, or during an intensely private moment in the bathroom—they are driven mad with an all-consuming lust to possess and devour you physically. You will use your boundless powers of intensity, malice, and transformation to put the whammy on someone’s ass and make them extremely horny for you.

March 

As a water sign, you are the typical sopping-wet dishrag of emotions—but you are ruled by Neptune, the planet of dreams, which gives your overwrought (and sometimes infantile) emotional outbursts a quasi-mystical edge that makes people think you’re far more wise and profound than you might actually be. It’s time to finally put your natural-born magical powers to good use—namely, you need to find yourself a lover who not only has the boundless capacity for tenderness and romance that you do, but someone who is just gullible enough to fall for your whole “all-seeing shaman clairvoyant psychic star child” act without asking too many questions. So cast your spell on them. Work your magic on them. You know the way. You were born for this.

July 

The most emotional of all the water sign natives, you experience a panoply of feelings that go far beyond the dizzying heights of great joy—you are also one easily bruised banana who winces in emotional pain and starts crying like an undiapered baby at the slightest indignity. You pride yourself in your ethics—although you are prone to retaliation, you never throw the first punch or cast the first spell. With that in mind, you would take great delight in wreaking vengeance against someone who was rude to you, especially if their indiscretion took place in the sanctity of your hearth and home. If they insulted you with words, then render them mute for a while. If they said something negative about the way that you or your house looks, give them a giant and unavoidable lump on their nose. Curse them with a sharp and unmistakable body odor that immediately sickens everyone who has to come within 20 feet of them. Torment them with a burning pain in their bowels whenever they think of you. That’ll teach them to be a rude houseguest.

February

February souls, you were sent down to this planet because the rest of us are too dumb and disorganized to see the bigger picture. You think BIG—I daresay you even think HUGE. For you, the perfect magic spell would involve creating a chain reaction of positive energy, a butterfly effect that keeps on giving. Sometimes it only takes one big idea—for example, the smallpox vaccine, which saved over half-a-billion lives. You want to work your magic in the sense of setting something positive in motion, a spell that cannot be undone, that can never be broken, and that moves the world toward a better place.

September 

As the most humanitarian birth month in the cosmos, you come off more like a healer than a witch, which is probably why you’re symbolized by the Virgin. For you, a magic spell that would be immensely satisfying would involve restoring someone’s faith in the basic goodness of people. Take someone who was traumatized. Someone who was scarred and had given up. Bring back their shattered innocence, reconstructing it piece by piece, until it’s whole again. Cast a wide, colorful spell around someone and give them the magical gift of hope.