5 Concrete Signs You Need To Give Up People Pleasing

You are exhausted trying to make everyone happy.

You need to remember, you can’t do everything for everyone. You aren’t in control of other people’s comfort or happiness. Although it’s lovely that you feel the pull to reach out and help others, you can’t spend your whole life worrying about them more than you worry about yourself. You can’t prioritize their needs before your own. What you want matters too. You can’t keep ignoring your own problems to focus on theirs, ignoring your own wants to focus on theirs, ignoring your own dreams to focus on theirs. You’ve been there for others your whole life. Now, it’s time to be there for yourself.

You’ve lost sight of what you actually want.

You’re on the path toward something you aren’t even sure you want. You’ve been going through the motions and chugging along because that’s what everyone expects from you, but honestly, you aren’t even sure if you’re happy on this path. You aren’t sure if it’s going to bring you any sense of satisfaction or fulfillment. It will make the people around you proud, but what about making yourself proud? Even though it’s natural to want their validation, at the end of the day, this is your life. You need to be confident with your decisions. You need to be happy with where you’re heading or it won’t feel worth it at all.

You feel like no one knows the real you.

When you’re so focused on saying and doing the ‘right’ thing, you stop voicing your true opinion. Which means people stop getting to know the real you. But you’re a wonderful human. You deserve to be seen, to be heard, to be known. You’re always going to feel like there’s a wall between you, like others are at any arm’s length, if you don’t drop your mask and show them the real you. When you give yourself permission to be authentic, your friendships and relationships start feeling more meaningful because you know they love you for the real you, not a pretend version of you that you’re projecting to the world.

Your schedule is packed way too tightly.

The thing about people-pleasing is that it never ends. Others will always want more from you if you’re willing to give it, and there are only so many hours in the day. You need to learn the power of the word no. It’s not cruel to turn someone down. It can be a form of self-love. After all, you deserve to have some time to yourself. Time where you’re relaxing and letting your stress slip away. If you pack your schedule too tightly, you’re going to burn yourself out. Then you won’t be able to be there for anyone — others or yourself.

You find yourself jealous of others who are living authentically.

If you care too much about the way other people view you, then you’re going to start telling little white lies. You’re going to start changing your personality in order to please the people around you. And that’s no way to live. If you want to achieve true happiness, you need to follow your heart. Listen to your gut. Care more about staying true to yourself than about making a good first impression. Care more about trusting yourself, and loving yourself, than being loved by others.