5 Concrete Signs Your Friendship Isn’t Over (You Just Need Some Space)

Friendship breakups are terrible. They’re often even more heartbreaking than a romantic breakup. You’ve been friends with this person since you were kids and now it’s just over? While there are some things that can irreversibly damage a friendship, like a friend sleeping with your partner, sometimes the catalyst isn’t so cut and dry. Rather than being so quick to end the friendship, consider whether you just need time apart for a while. Here’s how you’ll know when a full friendship breakup is the wrong choice:

1. Boundaries that are normally respected have started to crumble.

Obviously there’s a catalyst for the idea that you should end your friendship. Some offenses are irreversible, while others can be overcome. Times can get tough, and sometimes friends start to stomp on your boundaries as a result. While they may be doing this now, if they normally respect you, that’s an indication that those barriers can be repaired.

2. Life is actually crazy right now.

Friendships ebb and flow. You might be joined at the hip for years, then float away from each other as life, work, and other relationships monopolize time. If you’re upset about not seeing your friend enough, don’t just assume it’s because they don’t want to see you anymore. Their lack of contact might have nothing to do with you.

3. You can see an end to what’s triggering the need for space.

There’s a big question you have to ask yourself when contemplating the fate of a friendship. Is this how it’s always going to be? If the answer is no, then don’t make any life-changing decisions based on the present. You can just come back to the friendship when things change.

4. You both keep coming back to each other.

No matter how much time has passed, you seem to re-enter each other’s lives. You know that, if you’re going through a terrible time, they’ll drop everything to be there for you. If you just can’t seem to stay away, maybe this is forever.

5. The friendship being over doesn’t sit right with you.

Some friendship breakups are cut and dry. While they’re not exactly “easy,” you aren’t questioning your decision. This one doesn’t feel the same way. In your heart, you still want them in your life–just maybe not right now. Don’t make something permanent if there’s a chance things could change. Say goodbye for now, and not goodbye forever.