5 Concrete Signs You’ve Been Ignoring All Their Red Flags

Red flags aren’t always easy to spot. Sometimes, it can take a while to understand just how unhealthy this other person is for you. Here are some concrete signs you’ve been ignoring all their red flags and need to walk away ASAP:

You’re uncomfortable bringing this person to family events and to hangouts with friends.

You enjoy spending time with them one-on-one, but you’re nervous to bring them around other people because you’re scared they’ll be misjudged. You’re scared other people will overreact and hate them based off of small comments that they make and the way they speak to you. While it’s normal to be nervous to introduce your person to your favorite people, this could also be a sign you’ve been ignoring red flags and are worried others will point them out to you and you won’t be able to ignore them for any longer.

You’re making excuses for them all the time.

Maybe you’ve been telling friends that they don’t really understand the problems in your relationship because they only know half the story. Or maybe you’ve been making excuses to yourself. Maybe you’ve been telling yourself they only hurt your feelings because they had a stressful day at work, because they had a bit too much to drink, because you shouldn’t have said what you said in the first place. Everyone has rough days in serious relationships — but if you’re always making excuses like this to justify their behavior, there are red flags you’re not allowing yourself to see. You are finding any excuse you can to make what they’re doing seem acceptable when you know deep in your heart that it is not.

Half of the time, you walk away from interactions with them feeling worse about yourself.

This person can make you feel happier than you’ve ever been. They can provide you with the highest of highs, just by sending you a cute text or taking you out on a romantic date. But that’s only half of the time. The other half, you walk away from conversations feeling drained and insecure. Maybe you can’t pinpoint anything specific that they’ve said that made you feel bad, but it keeps happening again and again. Remember, if this one person can make you feel that terrible about yourself that frequently, there are probably red flags you’ve been ignoring.

This person keeps having problems with everyone around them.

If they keep having issues at work and with their family and in their friend groups and with strangers at the supermarket, maybe everyone else isn’t the problem. Maybe they’re the problem. Maybe others aren’t going to accept the bad behavior that you have been ignoring. And maybe you need to stop ignoring it once and for all.

You’ve been feeling so thankful that this person puts up with you.

Your person should never make you feel like a burden or an inconvenience. If they’ve convinced you that you’re lucky to have them around because most people wouldn’t deal with the way you’re behaving — that’s a huge red flag. That’s their way of scaring you into thinking you can’t do any better. That’s their way of tricking you into ignoring their issues and assuming you’re the problem instead. It’s not healthy. And it’s not how you should feel when you’re with the right person.