5 Hard-To-Hear Signs That He’s Never Going To Change

Be careful because not everyone will handle your heart with the gentleness it deserves. Although every relationship has its ups and downs, not every partner will care about improving and treating you right. You deserve someone who learns from their mistakes, who makes an active effort to grow into a better partner each and every day. Although you might be hoping things will improve down the line, here are some signs they’re never going to change and treat you right:

They throw their kindness in your face.

Whenever you mention a way they’ve hurt you, they act like you’re ungrateful because they’ve done X, Y, and Z for you. All of the nice things that they’ve done throughout the relationship are going to get thrown in your face whenever you bring up the tiniest concern. They’re making you feel like your worries have no value because they have no intention of changing. Because they like the dynamic the way it is — with them feeling powerful and you feeling unsatisfied.  

They never take your emotions seriously.

They accuse you of overreacting whenever you’re upset or angry with them. They diminish whatever you’re feeling in order to make it seem like they didn’t do anything wrong. Instead of taking responsibility for how they treated you, they act like you’re blowing it all out of proportion. Remember, if they can’t even acknowledge that they’ve hurt you without growing defensive or turning the blame around on you somehow, there’s no way they’re going to learn and grow. They’re going to keep repeating the behavior because they don’t see anything wrong with it.

They’ve made these promises before, and they never last.

Maybe they’ll treat you better for a few weeks, or even months, after they’ve hurt you. But then they snap right back to treating you horribly and the cycle repeats itself. Basically, they’re on their best behavior when they’re worried about you leaving because they don’t want to lose you. But as soon as they feel comfortable again, they’re going to revert to their old ways. This shows that they don’t really care about hurting you. They care about whether they are going to face consequences for it.

Their apologies somehow always end with you comforting them.

Whenever you voice your frustrations with them, they end up shedding tears and talking about what a hard life they’ve lived. They end up fretting about how scared they are that you’re going to leave like everyone else, implying that they’ve had it so much worse than you. They end up making you feel guilty for bringing up your feelings at all. If every single conversation about their faults results in you feeling like you’re the bad partner and they’re the victim, then they’re manipulating you. And they certainly aren’t going to change.

They make you sound like the bad guy to all your friends and family.

This isn’t only about telling their side of the story and making you look bad. It’s also about being extra charming around other people and only treating you well in public so it looks like they’re a wonderful partner that you’re lucky to have. Basically, they’re trying to discredit you. They’re trying to make it look like they couldn’t possibly be as bad as you’re saying if you ever decide to open up to others about what they’re putting you through.