5 Reminders When You’re Having Trouble Letting Go Of Those Who No Longer Love You

1. You deserve a love that loves you back. You deserve a love that will meet you at your mess, one that will see your shadows and your light and love you still.

2. Sometimes, love fades because it was never meant to last in the first place—but because of that experience, because we let that person hold our hearts for a bit, we now know what we want and what we need. Now we know how to show up and how we want others to show up for us. 

3. Holding onto something just because it’s comfortable is not the stuff of great love stories. It’s not how you cultivate a deep sense of belonging and a broader sense of self. Holding onto something just because it’s comfortable is how you become stuck; it’s how your roots get tangled and suffocated—and it’s how you stop your growth. 

4. You cannot make someone love you—and nor should you want to, either. Love cannot be forced or coerced. Love cannot be rooted in guilt. Love cannot be twisted and mashed into something that it is not—but with the right combination of people and circumstances, it can blossom, bloom, and grow.

5. A great love should be your match. They should be your confidante and your lover; they should be your cheerleader and your most important critic. A great love is someone who holds a mirror to your face when you cannot do it yourself. They are someone whom you talk to about everything and nothing all at the same time. A great love is the one you call home and your most incredible adventure—and they love you back without question or hesitation. They love you back with everything they are, everything they were, and everything they hope to be. You deserve that kind of love.