6 Concrete Signs He’s Just Wasting Your Time

You like this guy. He ticks all the boxes you have in your mind of who you should be dating. Yet, you have this uncomfy feeling. Like maybe he’s not as into as you are him. Or maybe he’s benching you? Look out for the signs. You may realize that he isn’t that into this and he’s just wasting your time.

1. He makes plans and then breaks them.

He insists that he has a great date planned for you. He might even insist that you “wear something nice.” But just as you’re finishing up your hair and makeup, you get a short text saying sorry, he’ll have to reschedule. Are you dating him, or is he just a guy in your phone, jerking you around?

2. He dodges the DTR conversation.

You’ve been dating for a while now. It seems only fitting that you define the relationship. Yet when you try, he dodges you. He either reschedules the talk for when he’s “less stressed,” or he questions why you need to define it. If he wanted to make it official, he would.

3. You feel yourself setting aside your wants and needs to keep him around.

You’re starting to lose yourself in this. You keep tailoring who you are and how you need in a relationship just in the hopes that he’ll settle down and be with you for real. And still, you feel he’s ready to leave at a moment’s notice. The right relationship won’t feel this way.

4. He’s never the one to initiate dates.

Maybe he does go on dates with you, but it’s only when you do all the work planning. He’s so noncommittal when you ask about time or place that you have to do 100% of the work. If he was fully committed, he’d put in the work.

5. You’re basing how he feels about you on assumptions and not actions.

You find yourself making excuses for why he doesn’t text or why he’s so hot-and-cold. You instead assume he’s just tired or busy with work. Hope is great, but not when it’s doing yourself such a disserve. Judge him by his actions, babe.

6. He says what you want to hear, but rarely follows through.

Any time you start to pull away–because, after all, he clearly doesn’t share your feelings–he insists that he cares about you. You go back to him, it’s fine for a day, and then you’re back to feeling like a second thought. You don’t deserve to be strung along like this. Clearly he’s just wasting your time.