You hear so much about the other person in a relationship being the problem, it might be hard to fathom that the blame could go the other way. But if things aren’t working with the person you’re dating, perhaps it’s actually you who isn’t ready to make it official. If any of these signs sound familiar, you should rethink the relationship and let this person go. After all, if you wanted to commit, you would.
You can go a whole day without even thinking of them.
You have so much going on, we get it. You’re busy, busy, busy. And that’s the excuse you use when you get a text from them at the end of the day and go “oh, right, I’m dating someone.” If you were all-in, you’d be thinking about them throughout the day. No one wants to be an afterthought.
They’re the last to know about monumental news.
You find out that you’re getting a promotion and you text your friends, you call your mom, you let your mail carrier know. Heck, even your barista knows before the person you’re dating.
You’ve hesitated to introduce them to friends and family.
Maybe you haven’t even dissected why you’ve avoided having them meet your inner circle. All you know is that every time they’ve brought it up, you find some excuse to put it off. If you were all-in and wanting a relationship with this person, you’d be excited for them to meet your favorite people.
You don’t want to make it Instagram official.
You’d prefer to keep your social media free of the person you’re dating, but why? They’ve asked if you could post pictures of the two of you together, and you hesitate. Perhaps it’s because a part of you isn’t ready to make this relationship official, especially to the public.
You constantly worry that they’ll “get the wrong idea.”
You hold back affection, you choose your words carefully, all so you don’t give them the idea that you’re more invested than you actually are. The best relationships are the ones where you can be your true authentic self. If you’re holding back, that’s a red flag.
You keep pushing back the DTR discussion.
Clearly, the person you’re “hanging out” with wants more, because they’ve tried to broach the subject multiple times. You’re putting if off defining the relationship because you’re not ready. Maybe you hope that you’ll be ready soon, but if it hasn’t happened yet, you might never get there. At some point, you have to let this person go. They deserve someone who’s as invested as they are.