Lately, you spend most of your time complaining.
Maybe your complaints are about the relationship, or maybe they’re about outside factors, but this person has brought out your pessimism in some way. Instead of celebrating your accomplishments with you and finding little reasons to celebrate, they are always grumpy, always dwelling on mistakes, always pointing out problems that you didn’t even notice originally. Overall, they’ve been bringing your mood down.
You’re dressing and behaving based on what they want from you.
Instead of wearing what makes you feel the most confident, you’re styling your hair and outfits based on what they prefer. You’re letting them influence all of your decisions, down to what you do with your own body. Even if they aren’t giving you direct orders, you’re still suppressing what you really want in order to give them what they want. You’ve stopped caring about your own opinions because you’re valuing theirs higher.
You’re scared to do anything without them.
You’re worried they’re going to get jealous or offended when you ask others to go to concerts and movies with you instead of them, so you never hang out with anyone else. You rarely spend time with your favorite people anymore. Your person has pushed you away from your friends and family, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Ever since you’ve gotten together, you’ve hardly had any time for people outside of the relationship. The only person you’ve been prioritizing is your partner, so they’re the only one who has spent any quality time with you lately.
You’ve given up the passions and hobbies you used to enjoy.
Before you were with this person, there were certain activities you used to engage in all the time. But since you’ve gotten together, you don’t have time for them anymore. You would rather spend time with this person doing whatever they want to do than do what you used to love doing. While it’s healthy to prioritize your partner, you don’t want them to become your only priority, the only thing that brings you happiness in this world.
Your ambition has gone way down when it comes to work.
Since the only thing you care about is this person, you’ve started caring less and less about work, even when you used to genuinely enjoy your job. Instead of worrying about advancing in the workplace, you’re worried about hitting the next milestone in the relationship. Instead of worrying about fixing problems in the office, you’re worried about fixing problems in the relationship. While your love matters, you can still have it all. You can have a job and a relationship you put effort into. You don’t have to choose one over the other.
You don’t even know what you want anymore.
You’ve grown so used to people-pleasing and giving them what they want that you aren’t even sure what you want anymore. You aren’t sure what makes you happy, what excites you, what you’re aspiring to achieve. You’ve lost your independence and your sense of self because you’ve grown too reliant on them. You’ve forgotten who you are — which is a shame, since you’re such a wonderful, talented person.