6 Concrete Signs You Can’t Be Your Most Authentic Self With Your Partner

You deserve a partner who makes you feel comfortable. A partner you don’t have to try to impress because they love the real, authentic you. If you can’t let down your walls and goof around with this person, then they probably aren’t the one. So here are some signs you can’t be your most authentic self with your current partner, and deserve someone new:

They keep shutting down your ideas.

There’s a difference between teasing you in a fun, flirtatious way and making fun of you in a way that genuinely hurts your feelings. Your partner should never make you feel small. They shouldn’t shut down your ideas and make you feel embarrassed about your favorite music and movies, or your hobbies and career choice. Even if they have a completely different opinion than you, they should still respect your thoughts. They shouldn’t act like you’re beneath them, like you know less, like you aren’t as wise or mature as they are just because you feel differently.

You automatically do whatever they want without taking your own needs into consideration.

Your partner shouldn’t be getting their way in every single situation without exception. You shouldn’t feel pressured to do what would make them happy and disregard your own happiness in order to avoid fights and keep the peace. Maybe you’re trying to be a good partner because you care more about their happiness than your own, but you deserve to have a good partner too. You deserve someone who is going to do what you want half the time because it’s unfair for them to make all the rules and decisions.

They expect their dreams to become your dreams with no room for compromise.

Your partner can’t expect you to want everything they want. You’re your own person. And if you have different ideas for the future, they should talk them through with you. They should come to compromises. They shouldn’t assume you’re going to give up everything for them. Relationships require sacrifice here and there, but not everywhere.

You don’t feel comfortable expressing certain emotions to them.

You shouldn’t have to be in the best mood around your partner all the time. They should comfort you when you’re upset. They should lean in and listen when you have something to say. They shouldn’t make you feel like your emotions are invalid, like you should shut up and be happy with what you’re given. You’re allowed to feel emotions other than love and happiness, and you need a partner who wants to hear them all. A partner who wants to see every side of you.

You pretend everything is fine and sweep problems under the rug to avoid fights.

If you never tell your partner what’s wrong, they’re never going to change. They’re going to keep doing what they’re doing because there aren’t any consequences. And they might not even realize they’re upsetting you. You owe it to yourself and your partner to speak up about what’s bothering you. Otherwise, you’re going to start feeling the distance. You’re going to start feeling like you can’t be your real self around them.

You’re embarrassed to share your hopes and fears with them.

You should never feel like you need to keep secrets from your partner because they wouldn’t understand, or because you’re worried they’re going to judge you. You should feel comfortable going to your partner with anything. They should be your partner in every sense of the word.