You’re in a relationship, you want everything to work out, but you’ve been fighting lately. Or maybe you’ve been slowly growing apart. There’s this desire to ask for “space” to help repair the relationship. Sure, that can work. The saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” exists for a reason. But is that true for you, or are you just prolonging an inevitable breakup? Read on for some concrete ways to tell that you don’t need space–you just need to break up.
1. You’re using space as a way to put off the breakup.
Perhaps your partner suggested a breakup, and this was the alternative you asked for. Yes, breakups are scary, but the longer you put one off, the longer it’ll take to find someone who is truly right for you.
2. You aren’t on the same page about what “space” means.
“Space” is a hell of a word. For some, it means taking some time away while staying monogamous to each other. For others, it’s synonymous with breaking up. If you can’t even agree on what space means to you as a couple, that’s not a good sign.
3. Your friends are conspicuously quiet when you bring up the “space.”
Your friends will often see things more clearly than you. After all, they aren’t wearing the rose-colored glasses keeping you from seeing all the red flags. If you announce that you’re taking space from each other and your friends are silent, this is what they aren’t saying: “You should probably just break up.”
4. The space looks an awful lot like a breakup in every way but the name.
You don’t talk to each other anymore, you don’t live together, you’re seeing other people. It’s sweet that you want to call it “space,” but that’s not what this is. This is a breakup, babe.
5. Thinking about the space is like a weight has been lifted.
You thought taking space from your partner would be hard. And yet…you feel so much better. Being away from them, you’ve found yourself happier and healthier. This is your sign it’s time to break up.
6. This isn’t the first time you’ve needed “space.”
You’ve tried “space” before and managed to come back together. That’s great! Or is it? If you’re now needing space a second, third, or hundredth time, you might need more than just some time away. All the signs are pointing to the fact that you don’t belong together. Listen to the universe and end things for good.