6 Concrete Signs Your Partner Is Comfortable Giving You The Bare Minimum

You might be dating someone who performs romantic gestures — but only when you push them to try harder. Only when you bother them about how they aren’t doing enough again and again. There’s a difference between a partner interested in learning and growing, and a partner who only does nice things for you when they feel like they’re on the verge of losing you and they want to earn some brownie points. Here are some signs your partner is comfortable giving you the bare minimum:

They act like your expectations are ridiculous, and expect you to be happy with what you get.

Whenever you voice a complaint about how little they’re doing for you, or how you wish they would have done X, Y, or Z, they grow defensive. They bring up what a wonderful partner they are and act like you should be satisfied that you’re getting anything at all from them. Instead of rising to your standards, they try to lower your standards. They try to convince you that it’s unfair to ask so much from them, when you’re really only asking for the basics. They want to get away with doing as little as humanly possible without getting in trouble for it.

They don’t go out of their way to do anything nice for you — unless you ask them multiple times.

When they’re forced to do something romantic because you keep bringing it up again and again, then they’ll go through with it because they won’t want to lose you. Because they know it’s going to spark a fight if they resist any longer. But they never go out of their way to do sweet, romantic things for you without being asked at least once — or more likely, more than once.

They will do what you want — but they will complain the entire time.

They are willing to go to concerts and parties and events with you, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to be happy about it. Instead of trying their best to encourage your excitement, they will only bring it down by pointing out everything that goes wrong. They’ll end up ruining fun experiences for you because they are clearly miserable. And whether or not they are trying to make you miserable too, that’s always what ends up happening.

They need to be told exactly what to do and when to do it.

Your partner can’t read your mind, so communication is important. However, you shouldn’t need to spell out exactly the way you should be treated all the time. Your partner should eventually learn these things and remember these things because they care about you. Because they’re paying attention. Because they want to be the best partner possible.  

You have to bug them to do the basics.

They won’t volunteer to help you out with the dishes or the lawn without you asking. Even the chores that are supposed to be theirs usually won’t get done unless you bring it up to them. If you never said anything, then nothing would ever get accomplished. They would put if off longer and longer, hoping that you did it instead.

You generally feel unsatisfied.

Your partner should be listening closely when you speak about your feelings. They should be putting effort into trying to make you happy. They shouldn’t be brushing off your complaints and acting like you’re asking too much from them. If they aren’t doing this, then you deserve better.