6 Personality Traits That Are Making You Miserable In Your Relationship

If your relationship isn’t fulfilling you, then you either need to have a talk with your partner and make some changes — or you need to walk away and find somewhere where you actually belong. Here are some personality traits that might be keeping you stuck in an unfulfilling relationship, even though you could make a change at any time:

You are non-confrontational and avoid fights.

You might think you’re saving your partner some trouble by keeping quiet about your complaints, but you’re really taking away their ability to fix the situation. If your partner doesn’t know something is bothering you (or does know and thinks you’re letting them get away with it), then they’re never going to change. You need to be vocal about how you’re feeling so they know which behaviors are unacceptable for you. Either they will hear you out and work on themselves, they will compromise with you and talk through their side of things, or they will refuse to change and prove they don’t deserve you.

You are self-conscious and assume everything is your fault.

You can’t take the blame for every little thing that goes wrong in the relationship. It takes two people to make a relationship work. If your partner isn’t pulling their weight, it’s not your fault. You can’t put in the effort of two people. Don’t let them get away with treating you terribly, just because a (wrong) part of you feels like you deserve it.

You are inflexible and hesitant to make a change.

The unknown is scary, but you can’t keep living the way you’ve been living if you’re completely miserable. You need to be brave enough to make a change, whether that means working on problems with your partner or ending the relationship. Play an active role in your own life. Don’t passively sit there, stewing in your misery. Do something about it.

You are pessimistic and assume it can’t get better than this.

Don’t assume that this is the only person who will ever love you, or that you’re greedy for wanting more than the bare minimum from your partner. You are allowed to have high standards. You are allowed to hold out for what you deserve. Don’t settle for less, simply because you feel like this is as good as it’s ever going to get for you. Always strive for more.

You are passive and always let your partner make the decisions.

You’re supposed to be part of a team. Your partner shouldn’t be making all of your decisions for you. They shouldn’t be ordering you around and taking control of your wardrobe, your friendships, or your career. You should maintain your independence, even when you’ve been with someone for ages. You have your own mind, your own opinions. You shouldn’t automatically be doing whatever your partner says.

You are a people-pleaser and just want your partner to be happy.

Your happiness matters too. You can’t sacrifice everything you’ve ever wanted in the name of love. That’s not fair to you. Although you might feel like you’re happy to give up everything for them right now, you’re eventually going to resent them over making you do this. Remember, the right person would never want you to give up your happiness for their happiness. They would want you both to thrive.