Thought.is

7 Concrete Signs You’re Not The Only One He’s Talking To

You’ve been texting with this guy. Maybe you’re even meeting up irl and are enjoying getting to know him. It feels like it’s going somewhere. You want it to, anyway. And yet…something doesn’t feel right. You worry you might not have his undivided attention. Is your gut telling you that you’re not the only one he’s talking to? These are the signs you need to watch out for.

1. He only makes plans with you at the last minute.

You try to make concrete plans in advance, but he always has some excuse why he can’t. Like maybe work is “being weird” or he hasn’t been feeling well. He says he’ll check in with you later, but he only ever okays plans if they’re for the same night.

2. He cancels plans without a clear reason why.

And if you do make plans, half of them don’t even go through. He has last minute problems more often than could ever be reasonable. You accept the excuses because you like him, when in reality he’s just off seeing another girl.

3. There are big gaps in his texting habits.

Sometimes you’re texting all afternoon. The banter is wonderful. Then he might go MIA for an entire day at a time. I have bad news for you: He isn’t texting you because he’s out with another girl. He’ll text you again when she’s gone, but is that good enough?

4. He doesn’t remember key details about you.

You texted him all about your promotion at work, but when you bring it up in person, he congratulates you like this is the first time he’s heard about it. Clearly he isn’t hanging onto your every word like you are for him.

5. …Or he’s gotten things all wrong.

He mentions your brother, but you only have a sister. Or maybe he talks about his own life as if you already heard it. He’s talking to more people than just you, and he’s having a tough time keeping his stories straight.

6. He won’t define the relationship.

Every time you try to take things to the next level, he dodges you. He says he’ll discuss it later. Or he’ll say, “Why should we define anything? We’re having so much fun as we are.” Even if he isn’t talking to other girls–and that’s a big if–he’s clearly not into this the way you are.

7. He won’t post pictures of you online or make it official on socials.

Not only does he not post you on Instagram, but he asks you not to post pictures of him on your socials either. He says it’s for privacy or that he’s just not big on social media, but his profiles would beg to differ. This is a huge red flag, babe. Not only is he probably talking to someone else, but there’s a good chance she’s his full-on girlfriend, fiancée, or wife.

You deserve better.