Thought Catalog Agency

7 Uncomfortable Truths About Situationships You Don’t Want (But Need) To Hear

Situationships are casual, undefined relationships that make me want to give up on love altogether, move to the woods with my dog, and never entertain the idea of romance again. Dramatic? Absolutely, but I’m a Leo rising and I stand by that statement. I hate situationships. I hate the ambiguity, I hate the uncertainty, and I hate what situationships are doing to our generation as a whole. The worst part is that situationships are now the norm. Commitment is scarce. And we’re all becoming emotionally-damaged, anxious messes as a result.

Essentially, a situationship provides the building blocks of a relationship (i.e. dates, sex, emotional support, etc.) but no labels. And without labels, boundaries and expectations in a situationship are murky at best and absent at worst. Situationships are more often than not a recipe for hurt feelings for either one or both parties.

If you’re currently in a situationship or think you might be in one, here are seven uncomfortable truths about situationships you don’t want (but need) to hear.

1. Your situationship is not committed to you.

Even if you’ve agreed to be exclusive, exclusivity without a label doesn’t mean much of anything. Your situationship is not committed to you until they explicitly say they are and refer to you as their partner. They are under no obligation to stay loyal to you or prioritize you. And yeah, they’re probably still on dating apps. If a casual arrangement like that works for you, great. But more often than not…

2. One person usually ends up wanting more.

A situationship can quickly turn toxic because as time passes, one person usually ends up wanting a real, defined relationship while the other enjoys the arrangement as is. This leads to an unbalanced dynamic, one that is sure to end in heartbreak for the person who caught feelings.

3. Situationships can keep us from finding the real thing.

If you want a relationship, then a situationship is rarely worth your energy because situationships hardly ever transition into something serious. This is because once a dynamic (i.e. casual) is set, it is often very difficult to change. And all the while you’re involved with your situationship, you miss chances to connect with another person who wants the same things you do.

4. Situationships are messing with our collective conception of healthy relationships.

Situationships are totally screwing with our generation’s concept of healthy relationships because situationships are in no way healthy. And yet, situationships are everywhere and to be expected at some point in your dating journey. Essentially, we’re normalizing stringing one another along and pretending that we don’t want a relationship when we do. On that note…

5. Situationships make us afraid to ask for more.

Situationships are making us completely terrified of admitting we want more and then asking for it. There’s this unspoken idea in our generation that dating is all about timing, going with the flow, never rushing a relationship, never coming on too strong, and never being too much. But this mindset keeps us one foot out the door from the get-go, keeps us from honoring our feelings, and keeps us from being honest about where we stand emotionally with another person.

6. Situationships make us accept less than we deserve.

Because we’re afraid to ask for more from a situationship, we end up accepting less than we deserve. We’re so fearful of losing what we have with someone that we’re willing to put up with anything in order to keep them around because we convince ourselves that what we have is better than nothing.

(Psst…it’s not.)

7. You can’t make them commit to you if they don’t want to commit to you.

In other words, if someone says they don’t want a relationship, please believe them.