8 Concrete Signs They’re Not The Right Person For You (Even If You Love Them)
No matter how wonderful someone may be, there comes a point of no return when you must be honest with yourself and admit when a relationship isn’t working anymore. This can be incredibly difficult to come to terms with, especially when you still love your partner with all of your heart.
As such, here are eight concrete signs they’re not the right person for you (even if you love them).
1. You have conflicting life visions.
For example, maybe you want kids and your partner doesn’t. Or, your partner wants to stay put in the city you’re currently living in and you’re dying to move elsewhere. If you both want different things from your lives, aspirations that directly interfere with the other even being possible, this is a sure-fire sign you are not meant to last forever.
2. You have to constantly make excuses for them.
These can be excuses for outright bad behavior, petty annoyances, or even personality quirks. If you constantly find yourself needing to rationalize the things that frustrate you about your partner, you might be forcing the relationship.
While no one is perfect, nor you should you want them to be, if you have to convince yourself that your partner is a good fit for you, that something about them or their behavior doesn’t bother you as much as it actually does, trust that in time these grievances will compound and you will begin to resent you partner to your relationship’s eventual demise.
3. You always feel misunderstood.
You never truly feel heard in your relationship. You sometimes wish you had some kind of translator to bridge the miscommunications between you both. No matter what you say or how you frame it, your partner never seems to truly get it. It’s frustrating but mostly? It’s awfully lonely.
4. You are both staying stagnant.
In other words, you are holding one another back from growth and your true potential. The right relationship is growth-oriented, both individually and as a couple. If you’re feeling stuck, like your partner enables your less desirable habits and behaviors and vice versa, this is a sign your relationship is not built for longevity.
5. Your fights can get very toxic.
Basically, your arguments end up spiraling into full-blown tornados of blame, anger, and resentment. While you can definitely both work on your communication styles and fight better, if you have a tendency to bring out the worst in one another, this is a sign of misalignment and toxicity.
6. You’re anxious. All. The. Dang. Time.
You’re anxious when you’re apart, you’re anxious when you’re sitting next to them on the couch, you’re anxious when you need to tell them something, you’re anxious during and after a disagreement. Your nervous system is essentially going haywire. This is your body signaling to you that something is off.
7. Your friends and family have expressed concern.
Concern can include the way your partner talks to you or treats you or just your general long-term compatibility. Your friends and family know you best and want the best for you. They also might see something you don’t. Take what your loved ones say seriously because they might be onto something.
8. You love the idea of what you two could be rather than the reality of what your relationship actually is.
Because you love your partner, you see the potential of what your relationship could be. Yes, you see the cracks, and you want to do the patchwork to repair them. And while you’re more than willing to do so, no matter how many times you seem to do the necessary damage control, another thing breaks down between you two. Relationships absolutely do take work and maintenance. But it shouldn’t be impossible. It shouldn’t be so hard to not fall apart.
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You can love them and still let go. And, to be honest, this is sometimes the most loving thing you can do for each other. Not all relationships are built to last, and that’s okay. You’ll both be okay.