Friends often feel like family. We have this hope that they’ll forever be in our lives. And then you go through your first friendship breakup and it’s somehow even more devastating than a breakup with a romantic partner. You were supposed to be friends forever, but now you’re just broken-hearted. There are signs that your friendship is over. Here’s how you can tell:
1. You find yourself constantly defending your friend to others.
Everyone else in your life keeps talking about how they don’t understand why you two are friends. And every time they bring up their toxic behavior, you’re quick to come up with excuses. Soon, those excuses will run out and you’ll start to see what everyone else does.
2. They’re no longer the first person you think of when you need help or have something to celebrate.
You don’t really know when things shifted, but now you’re calling and texting everyone else but this friend. Your friend feels almost like an afterthought at this point.
3. You judge them based on how they used to treat you, and not how they treat you now.
People change, but we don’t always want to accept who they’ve changed into. Every time you’re upset with your friend or you get a flash of desire to dump them, you think back on how great your friendship was in the past and excuse their behavior. You’re doing yourself a disservice. If they don’t treat you well now, then it doesn’t matter what happened when you first became friends.
4. You’re the only one ever trying to make plans.
Things have gone quiet on their end. If they used to suggest all sorts of events but now it’s just you making the effort, they could be trying to soft-ghost you. If you stopped texting them, would you ever even hear from them again?
5. You both seem to be holding on to the past.
When you do hang out, it seems like you have nothing to talk about anymore. Conversations just devolve into rehashing the same funny stories from your youth or making the same inside jokes you’ve had for years. Maybe you’ve just grown apart.
6. You feel like your invites are an afterthought.
You’re no longer the first person invited to the party. You’re not even asked your opinion on planning. Instead, you seem to be asked to come on the day of the event, and it feels like it’s only because they remembered you at the last minute. Soon, you won’t be invited at all.
7. The idea of the friendship being over doesn’t make you as sad as you thought it would.
Would it feel weird not to have this person in your life anymore? Sure. But it doesn’t feel like the world-ending moment that you thought it would. In fact, not being friends anymore would be a bit of a relief.
8. You’re done with toxic friendships.
Maybe it’s not them who’s pulling away. Maybe you’re the one who’s done with this friendship. If they’ve become toxic, it’s better to cut them loose to return some happiness back into your life. Don’t stick with people just out of a sense of obligation, especially if their presence does more harm than good.