8 Underrated Ways To Totally Transform Your Love Life This Year
If you’ve been struggling in the love department, you’re not alone. In fact, according to the Pew Research Center, nearly half of U.S. adults state that dating has become more difficult in the past 10 years.
That said, you don’t need to continue settling for an unsatisfying love life. While there are many facets of dating that are absolutely out of your control, there are still a number of things that are within your control that can help transform the way you feel about dating (and yourself). While dating can still be frustrating and heartbreaking at times, it can also be a deeply empowering, wonderful experience if you approach it in the right way.
As such, here are eight underrated ways to totally transform your love life this year.
1. Have a few go-to date outfits that make you feel confident and most like yourself.
As the saying goes, confidence is key. One great way to enhance your confidence before a date is to wear what makes you feel beautiful and also authentic to who you are. Having a few outfits in rotation for different date settings that you know flatter you and make you feel good will give you that extra boost you need before you sit down for drinks, coffee, or a walk.
2. Make a list of your non-negotiables.
Now, this isn’t a list for you to whip out at the dinner table and grill your date and see if they’re aligned with what you’re looking for! Rather, this is a list just for you to know what your standards are. It’s simply for your own self-awareness. Non-negotiables can include anything from honesty to respect to compatible life values.
3. Go on dates with people who aren’t necessarily your type.
Dating outside of your usual type doesn’t mean you need to sacrifice your values, non-negotiables, or standards. It simply means to give people you normally wouldn’t a chance because you never know who you’ll like until you’ve fallen. After all, we all have ideas about what our ideal partner would look like. On that note…
4. Know what you’re looking for (not necessarily who).
Instead of getting caught up in the idea of someone else, know what you’re looking for (i.e. a serious relationship vs. something casual). And if someone you really like isn’t on the same page, you know that they’re ultimately not the right person for you.
5. Don’t forget that dating can actually be really fun if you have the right mindset.
Not every single date is going to be with your soulmate, and that doesn’t mean that the date wasn’t worth your time. Sometimes, someone is just a fun night out or an eye-opening experience or the person who introduces you to your new favorite book or a new outlook on life.
When you lower the stakes for your outings, you have more of an opportunity to enjoy yourself and connect with your date on a deeper level. Because if you approach every potential partner as the end-all, of course it’s going to be utterly nervewracking to go out. Relax a little bit. Let yourself have fun and go from there.
6. Remember: You can’t change someone.
You can’t change someone into wanting something serious if they do not. Focus on connection, not convincing. And if there is no connection, you know what to do.
7. Take intentional breaks as needed.
During your dating journey, be sure to check in with yourself and be honest with yourself if you’re feeling self-assured and approaching romance in a healthy way. If you’re starting to notice feeling drained, defeated, or any other negative feeling, it’s okay to take a step back and give yourself a minute.
8. Stop being so damn afraid of getting your heart broken.
Stop being so afraid of getting your heart broken because you get better at fixing it every single time. Be vulnerable, put yourself out there, and hope for the best. Eventually, it will pan out. Give love a chance.