9 Concrete Signs You’re Forcing A Relationship (And Need To Let Go)
Sometimes, when we’re in a relationship, we don’t recognize when we’re forcing it. We’re pushing the love, the affection, the connection that we once had at the beginning. We don’t want to let go, even though we know — in our gut — that it might be time to.
Here are some concrete signs that you may be forcing a relationship and need to consider moving on:
Lack of compatibility.
They say opposites attract, and while that might be true (to an extent), that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good reason to keep a relationship going. In fact, if you and your partner have fundamental differences in values, goals, and lifestyles, it’s going to make the relationship challenging. It’s going to prevent you from truly connecting with and understanding one another. You can have conversations and try your hardest, but if someone is so drastically incompatible with you, it will be hard to find common ground and make the relationship work.
Constant struggle.
Fighting in a relationship is normal. However, frequent disagreements and conflicts and fighting that turns scary — that’s not normal. A relationship should never feel like a constant uphill battle. A relationship should never be between two people walking on eggshells or constantly at each other’s throats.
Ignored the red flags.
We’ve all been in relationships where we’ve ignored the red flags. Or maybe, we just haven’t even seen them at all. There are some red flags, though, that can’t be ignored. You can’t turn a blind eye forever to your partner’s behavior and character. You can’t keep making excuses for them.
One-sided effort.
You should never, ever have to settle for the bare minimum in a relationship. While, unfortunately, that’s all some people can give, that doesn’t mean you have to accept it. If you’re putting in most of (if not all) the effort to maintain the relationship, you’re constantly initiating conversations and date nights, or you’re surrendering after a fight — that’s not good. You shouldn’t have to settle for someone who isn’t meeting your needs.
Loss of authenticity.
You should never feel like you’re compromising your values and interests just to fit the relationship and to make your partner comfortable. You should never, ever have to change who you are for another person. If you feel like you are suppressing your true self or that you’re being forced to become someone that your partner desires, then there’s no reason for you to maintain this connection.
Resisting growth.
The relationships you have — the romantic partners, the friendships, the family — should never be ones that hinder your personal growth or prevent you from pursuing your dreams. The people in your life should uplift you. If you’re with someone who isn’t holding you back from your aspirations and from becoming the best version of yourself and keeping you stuck, then they are not the person for you.
Lack of trust and respect.
Relationships require a lot of hard work, patience, communication, and most importantly, trust and respect. Trust and respect are the foundations of a healthy relationship. If there is constant betrayal, disrespect, or emotional abuse, it’s a clear sign that the relationship is unhealthy and not worth forcing.
Feeling blah.
Maybe you’re feeling unfulfilled. Lonely. Dissatisfied. Maybe even empty. If you have this weird, unsettling, nagging feeling that something is missing in the relationship, but you just don’t know what, then maybe your emotional, physical, or intellectual needs are not being met…and you need to let go.
Inner discomfort.
They say that when you’re with the wrong person, your body will tell you. Seriously, your body knows when you’re with someone who you’re not supposed to be with. Call it a gut feeling or an inner discomfort that you can’t put your finger on. Or, maybe you get an actual stomach ache or cramps or you simply feel uneasy. Whatever the case, trust that feeling. Listen to your inner voice and trust your intuition. Maybe this is your body’s way of telling you something.
Take the time to reflect on your relationship and evaluate whether or not it’s genuinely fulfilling, healthy, and aligned with your needs and values. You should never settle for a relationship that is not what you want, deep down. Letting go is hard, but sometimes it’s necessary.