9 Concrete Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Value You Or The Relationship

You should have a partner who respects and values you and your relationship together. Here are some signs that they don’t:

Lack of communication.

Does your partner gaslight you? Do they dismiss your feelings or tell you that you’re overreacting? Do you ever fear having a serious conversation with them because you know they’ll just brush it aside or make jokes? Do you feel mentally exhausted after trying to communicate with them? They might be avoidant or they might be bad at communicating. But no matter what, your partner should be making an effort to communicate with you regularly, showing an interest in your feelings and thoughts. They should care enough to talk about things with you.

Disregarding your opinions.

If they talk over you, interrupt you, don’t listen to what you say (or rather, they listen to respond instead of listening to understand), or dismiss everything you say, then they most likely don’t respect you or your voice. They shouldn’t be making you feel as if your opinions, thoughts, or suggestions are worthless or dumb.

Emotional unavailability.

It’s normal for people to have a hard time talking about their feelings. Having an avoidant attachment style is very common, but not healthy. If your partner is emotionally distant, showing little empathy for your emotional well-being, dismissing your feelings, or avoiding having conversations about your feelings, they might not be valuing you.

Lack of effort.

Does your partner take you for granted? Do they assume you’ll always be there for them and will be a reliable person in their life, even if they aren’t reciprocating? Does your partner ask you to do things for them but never return the favor? Do they do things half-assed? Do they have a hard time meeting your needs halfway? Are you settling for the bare minimum?

Not to overwhelm you with all those questions, but if you answered “yes” to any of them, then your partner might not be respecting you or the relationship. They should value you, your company, the things you do for them. They shouldn’t be taking you for granted the way that they are.

Lack of support for your goals and aspirations.

If your partner doesn’t put an effort into supporting your life, your goals, and your dreams, then there’s a good chance they don’t value you. They shouldn’t be telling you not to go after something because it might be a long-shot or it’s too hard for you or whatever the case. They should be supportive and encouraging. They should be curious, asking “Did you talk to your boss about that promotion you’ve been wanting?” “How are the new art supplies treating you?” They should want the best for you, cheering you on while you go after your professional goals and dreams.

Lack of trust.

Trust is a crucial aspect of any healthy relationship. If you have a gut feeling that something isn’t right, that maybe your partner might not be trustworthy, listen to that gut feeling. Also, if your partner constantly doubts you or mistrusts you without a valid reason, it’s incredibly harmful to your character and integrity. You might be a trustworthy person and they just don’t have faith in you.

Emotional or physical abuse.

Any form of emotional, verbal, or physical abuse is a clear sign that your partner does not value you or your well-being. It’s important to seek help and prioritize your safety.

The sex feels…off.

Maybe the displays of affection — kissing, compliments, hugs, cuddling — are infrequent or nonexistent. Or, maybe all you do is have sex — no deep conversations and cuddles afterward. While sex and intimacy isn’t everything in a relationship, it’s a huge factor in being compatible and invested in a relationship. If your partner isn’t giving you the affection you desire or you feel as if they might just be using you for sex, then there’s a good chance they don’t have a lot of value in you or your relationship. You’re just…a plain old person to them.

Disrespectful behavior.

A healthy relationship is about having a good understanding of one another and knowing when and how to be playful. If your partner is constantly mocking you, belittling or criticizing you, comparing you to others, or disregarding your feelings, they are ultimately disrespecting you and the relationship.

You shouldn’t be with someone who makes you feel small. You shouldn’t be with someone who makes you feel as if you don’t matter, as if you aren’t worth basic human respect. You deserve so much better than that.