18 Genius Jokes Only People With High IQs Will Understand

If you need to break the ice, your best course of action is to break out some jokes. Here are a few that you’re only going to understand if you’re super smart!

“People who can’t tell the difference between entomology and etymology bug me in ways I cannot put into words.” — 3words_catpenbook

“I found out today that Albert Einstein was a real person. I thought he was a theoretical physicist.” — Spazmonkey1949

“Pavlov was at the pub having a drink. A bell rang. Wide-eyed and alarmed, Pavlov stood up and exclaimed, ‘Oh shit, I forgot to feed the dogs!’” — impolite_zebra

“Erwin Schrodinger is sitting in the passenger seat. He’s looking incredibly uneasy about this interaction. The cop, noticing his uneasiness, becomes a bit suspicious. He asks if he can look in the trunk. He walks around and opens it up. He calls to the front, ‘Gentleman, did you know there’s a dead cat in here?’ He hears a cry of exasperation, ‘WELL, NOW WE DO!’” — radiofiend

“A friend of mine would have a Pb and jelly sandwich every day until he died from lead poisoning.” — Tolbitzironside

“Who is this Rorschach guy and why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?” — treatment-thereisno

“Jean-Paul Sartre sits down in a cafe. The waiter comes over and Sartre says, ‘I’d like a cup of coffee with no cream, please.’ The waiter replies, ‘I’m sorry, monsieur, but we are out of cream. How about a cup of coffee with no milk?’” — DiogenesCantPlay

“At a funeral, a man approaches the widow and says, ‘Plethora.’ She says, ‘Thanks, that means a lot.’” — Likes_The_Scotch

“I didn’t think orthopedic shoes were for me, but I stand corrected.” — WheresThatTablet

“A photon walks into a hotel and rents a room. Hotel clerk asks, ‘Can we get your luggage?’ Photon replies, ‘No need. I’m traveling light.’” — Tempest-in-a-B-Cup

“The difference between a raven and a crow, is a matter of a pinion.” — Veauxdeeohdoh

“Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says, ‘I’ll have a Martinus.’ The bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, ‘Don’t you mean a Martini?’ ‘Look,’ Caesar replies, ‘If I wanted a double, I’d have asked for it!’ — GavinBelsonsAlexa

“Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender says, ‘You all want a beer?’ First guy says, ‘I don’t know.’ Second guy says, ‘I don’t know.’ Third guy says, ‘Yes.’ — Orange_Kid

“While out driving, Werner Heisenberg is pulled over by the police for speeding. The cop says, ‘Do you know how fast you were going when I pulled you over?’ Werner replies, ‘No, but I know exactly where I was.’ The cop says, ‘You were driving 90 miles an hour.’ Werner replies, ‘Oh great! now we’re lost!’” — proximalfunk

“Some Germans are out drinking one night. As they’re walking home, one can’t hold it anymore and starts peeing on a tree. A woman walks by and says gross! The guy says thank you.” — K8isEnough

“A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting in a street café watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people entering the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people leaving the house. The physicist says, ‘The measurement wasn’t accurate.’ The biologist says, ‘They must have reproduced.’ The mathematician says, ‘If one more person enters the house then it will be empty.’ — damargemirad

“What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other’s a pause at the end of a clause.” — Tlali22

“I think I have a fetish for figuring things out. I just came to that realization.” — InnerBanana