21 First Date Ideas For Anxious Introverts

Meeting in a noisy, crowded bar just isn’t the vibe an introvert is looking for when it comes to a first date. Add in the anxiety that comes from meeting someone for the first time and a lot of the classic first date ideas just seem like torture. Who wants to sit across from each other at a claustrophobic restaurant asking each other questions like a job interview? But if you really want something special for your first date, try these anxious introvert-approved date ideas. No big crowds, less opportunity for awkward silences. Hey, you might even fall in love.

1. Visit the library. Here’s the perfect excuse to stay quiet. You could even make a game out of it. Find the weirdest books you can find and swap.

2. Go to the movies. Sure, it’s an old-school date option, but it’s also a good way to sit through companionable silence. Then, when the movie’s over, you have a built-in conversation topic if you extend the date to dinner.

3. Have a paint or DIY night. Attend one of those drink-and-paint events or go to one of those DIY craft bars. It’s always easier to make conversation when you’re distracting yourself with a project.

4. Go to a local museum. Honestly, it doesn’t matter what kind of museum, but it’s even better if it’s tactile so you can touch and investigate what you’re learning about.

5. Have a picnic in a park. Bring your favorite food to share and the book you’re reading. It’s a much nicer atmosphere to get to know each other than a noisy bar or an anxiety-inducing restaurant.

6. Walk through a park. If you find it rough to sit across from a first date to have those getting-to-know you questions, walking side by side in nature is always a good alternative.

7. Solve your way out of an escape room. This might not be a good first date idea if you’re meeting through Tinder, but if you already kind of know the person, you can show off your deductive skills with pride. Plus, this is a great way to find out if someone cracks under pressure.

8. Have a coffee shop crawl. Some people are insistent on meeting at a coffee shop for a first date. One-up the idea by making it a coffee shop crawl. Pick a drink at the first stop, a snack at the second, another drink at the third. It’ll keep you moving and away from crowds.

9. Compete as a duo at pub trivia night. It’s low-key, you can break up the small talk with trivia, and it’s a good alternative when your date wants to meet at a bar. You also get to know the person’s interests in a fun way, rather than an interview.

10. Stroll through the farmer’s market. You could try out local food, pick up some veggies, and have an easy out at the end of the market if you aren’t feeling a connection.

11. Go to a local bookstore. Ask each other what kinds of books you like and turn it into a scavenger hunt to find your date’s next read. If you’re feeling a connection, you could even buy it for them.

12. Answer the 36 questions to fall in love. If you want to get deep quick, try out those 36 questions to fall in love everyone was talking about back in 2015.

13. Figure out each other’s birth charts. Astrology is fun even if you don’t exactly believe in it. Figure out each other’s Big 3 and look up your compatibility.

14. Have a tarot reading. You could visit a tarot reader or pick up some tarot cards to give your own reading. There are spreads that show off compatibility with partners, which could be a fun way to end the night.

15. Catch a live performance. A play, a musical, an open mic night, a stand-up comedy show? It really doesn’t matter. Live performances are always fun and it’ll get you away from the first date interview mentality.

16. Make it a puppy playdate. If one or both of you has dogs, take this first date to the dog park. If your dogs aren’t compatible, then neither are you.

17. Pick out an outfit for each other at a local thrift store. Get silly with it. You could pick items at random or find them something that’d fit their aesthetic perfectly. Then put them on and go for a walk.

18. Go to the local arcade. Bonus points if it’s an arcade bar you can visit without kids running around. Now you can see how they handle it when they lose at something.

19. Find a less-crowded mini golf course. Doing any activity while on a first date is a great way to distract yourself from your nerves and give yourself something to do when conversation stalls. Plus…it’s fun!

20. Have a photoshoot at the coolest-looking place in town. A cool graffiti mural, a pretty sunset. Whatever it is, do a photoshoot for each other. Of course, don’t forget the selfies of you two together. You’ll want to remember this.

21. Bring a two-player board game to a coffee shop. Games like Codenames Duet, Carcassonne, or Scrabble will give you something fun to do while you get to know each other.