5 Red Flags That Getting Back Together Would Be A Bad Idea
Sometimes, two people part ways, only to realize that they want to be together again. This can work out for some couples – but some exes are meant to remain exes. Here are some signs that getting back together would be a bad idea for everyone involved:
You haven’t been separated for all that long. If you broke up because you weren’t able to get on the same page about a major issue, then a few days or even weeks probably hasn’t changed the other person on a deep, fundamental level. If you get back together without doing the work to become a better person, you’re probably going to end up with the same set of issues. In order for them to make real change, they need to make an active effort. And they need to give it time. You don’t want to get back together because you miss each other too much and can’t stand to be alone. You want to get back together because your head says it’s a smart decision too, not just your heart. Otherwise, there will be another breakup soon.
They aren’t willing to apologize for the role they’ve played in the breakup. If they’ve hurt you, then the least they can do is acknowledge where they went wrong and offer you an apology. If this person firmly believes that they did nothing wrong and refuses to own up to their actions, then they aren’t going to treat you any differently in the future. History will repeat itself.
The same problems that broke you up are still present. If you have different visions of what you want your future to look like, then getting back together would be a mistake. Unless one of you has changed your mind about what you want the relationship to grow into, then one of you is going to end up unhappy. Remember, love isn’t enough. Your feelings for them might be super strong, but if you want different things than they do, your relationship won’t last. Or one of you will end up sacrificing your dreams and ending up resentful.
They did something unforgivable in the past. No matter how badly you want to start fresh, it’s impossible. You two already have history. You can’t really start on a clean slate if you’re still angry with them about the way they’ve treated you in the past. If they’ve done something you can’t forgive and forget, then you won’t be able to last as a healthy couple. You either need to forgive them, for real, or you need to move onto someone who has never hurt you before.
You’ve broken up a dozen times before. You don’t want breakups to become a routine. You don’t want to assume this person will always be there waiting for you, even though you’re no longer a couple. If you really want the relationship to work, then stay and try to find a way to solve your issues. Don’t run at the first sign of trouble. And if your relationship isn’t able to be fixed, if you’ve already done all you can do, walk away for good. No more second chances. Let the breakup stick because if this person is always your backup plan, you’ll never really let yourself move on and love again.