19 Things That Happen When You’ve Been Through Hell And Back

Living a rough life changes you as a person. Here are a few ways to tell that someone has been through hell and back:

“Honestly? Empathy and understanding. Many have heightened senses of empathy naturally, but oftentimes the people who really care for others shows me that they themselves have really needed it at some point.” — TonnelSneksRool

“Constantly having a reason/explanation ready for anything even though nobody asked. Or over explaining yourself without prompt. Or asking permissions for really small things you wouldn’t think about. Or over-apologizing over small mistakes.” — PipesyJade

“Disproportionate reactions. Their reactions to most things are normal or even low key, but occasionally they have a huge response to something minor. Key sign of trauma.” — Nyxsis

“They seem to wait for bad things to happen and can’t imagine a good or normal outcome.” — an_ineffable_plan

“Being the nicest person ever. Of all the people I know, the nicest and most thoughtful, or caring are usually the one who have been through some shit.” — OrderIntegration

“They have advice–good advice–for people who’ve just experienced trauma. Or for how to handle oddly specific and fucked up situations.” — discordagitatedpeach

“Not wanting to bring up anything from their past.” — ArtsyEcho

“Thinking you are telling a fun childhood anecdote/story and looking up to realize from your friends’ faces and shocked silence that it is indeed not a fun story and it’s actually pretty f’d.” — WildResident2816

“Preparation. Most people who’ve dealt with horrendous situations now prepare for the proverbial worst.” — Mr_Mori

“Never talking about their issues seriously, probably joking about it or even staying away from the topic completely.” — illegal-enbee

“Paying very close attention to people’s expressions and body language (mostly to see if they’re annoyed/angry), under-reacting to things, and over-explaining things that probably seem inconsequential to most.” — molsminimart

“Children, who grow up in dysfunctional homes, homes where there’s a lot of fighting and aguing, when they’re adults, tend to hate confrontation. They lack self esteem and much more easily believe people who gaslight them. They don’t easily stand up for themselves.” — brkh47

“Super independent because they learned not to rely on anybody.” — annshine

“Sometimes, even when they want to, they CAN’T cry.” — proceedstoeatyouout

“Being able to put themselves in other people’s shoes even in the worst situation and always feeling guilty about something.” — Ecstatic_Education35

“Not trusting people. You could be friends for years, and think you’re close, but in fact, you don’t have the slightest idea what’s going on in their lives. They could be staying up all night, being depressed, and tomorrow morning say hello with a smile on their faces. they simply don’t trust people anymore no matter what they do/don’t do.” — unsolicitedreplies

“The stillness in which they read a room. Quiet and not attracting attention until they’re called upon.” — Artie4

“Either being extremely evasive and reserved in relationships, or clinging on for dear life, perhaps oscillating between the two.” — gothgossip

“They can read the emotional temperature of a room the minute they walk into it. They can get vibes from people that tell them if others are annoyed, anxious, angry etc. It’s a survival skill learned in a maladaptive childhood.” — Bread0987654321