13 Old Married Couples Share Their Secrets For Newlyweds

“Eighteen years here. DON’T KEEP SECRETS FROM EACH OTHER. Now, I don’t mean you can’t have surprise birthday and Christmas presents. I mean don’t have locks on your phones the other doesn’t know. Don’t go out with the boys and say you are working late. Don’t lie to each other. Don’t hide things from each other. Be open with one another everything you do will effect the other one way or another, so let them know, or at a minimum do not hide it. Keeping secrets is a sure way to breed mistrust, and is a path which leads to misery.” — EbenSquid

“Unless you absolutely 100% mean it, don’t say the word ‘divorce.’ You will disagree and get mad at each other, and once that word is out there as ammo in a fight it’s always gonna be there as a way to have the last word. Don’t invent the atomic bomb if you don’t have to, because once it’s out there, someone’s gonna use it.” — buttflauta

“Don’t try to share blankets in bed. Just each have your own fucking blankets. It’s just such a simple solution to nightly tug of war and your farts are mostly contained under your own blanket.” — Ziaki

“If/when you have children, put your relationship first. One of the best gifts you can give your children is an example of a healthy marriage, which means prioritizing your spouse.” — lindseytheunicorn

“Don’t let your family or their family talk trash about your spouse.” — zorro1701e

“Don’t let resentments pile up. They snowball until you are afraid to talk about them and then they become a major problem. Happy couples fight and bitch and argue and clear the air. The ones that stew in silence get divorced because they end up hating each other.” — SweetMedusa

“If you win a fight, you didn’t. Fights in marriage aren’t win/lose. Unless you end up finding common ground you BOTH lose, and it makes your marriage weaker.” — EVRider77

“Know that you cannot be everything to your spouse. Allow them ‘alone’ time where they can regroup or enjoy a hobby. When they greet you, they will be recharged and ready to enjoy time with you.” — MsLiz535

“Your SO cannot read your mind. If something is wrong, talk it out. Don’t let the fear of discussion poison your relationship. Be kind, be honest, and be the one who loves the most.” — DsDaisy

“Realize you are a team and act accordingly. Communicate, be patient, build each other up. Also sex.” — PootieMagoo

“Do not take each other for granted. The little things go along way.” — DonQuijote911

“Be prepared for the honeymoon phase to end. It will end and when it does you will see each other for who you truly are. Remember why you fell in love with each other and don’t focus on flaws, they’ll drive a wedge between you if you let them.” — bryankicks

“If the shit goes downhill and you’re scared, unhappy, uneasy, feeling ashamed or wanting to hide something from others….please go seek help! Talk to a counselor (by yourself for sure; together if the other person will attend) and don’t stay in a marriage that’s not healthy. Life is too short. I was married for 9 years but I knew six months into it that I wanted to leave. It took me another 8.5 years to overcome church pressures and shame. I’m so glad I did!” — Cleverusername531