10 Cheaters Reveal Why They Cheated Instead Of Ending The Relationship

“Due to low self esteem, I thrived off attention, so rather than saying, ‘No thank you, I have a girlfriend,’ I’d let things continue. But at the same time, I also craved stability, so never wanted to break things off with said girlfriend. There’s nothing I regret more than hurting my ex like I did and karma finally caught up with me a few years later when I was cheated on by a different girlfriend, repeatedly. I didn’t end that relationship after I found out about her cheating the first time, as I felt I deserved it from my past shittiness. I vowed never to cheat again, especially after feeling the pain myself.” — eddcunningham

“I wanted both things, and I was a selfish, immature shit. I’ve never regretted anything more than hurting my partner like that.” — trycksy

“At first I told myself it was a drunken mistake, that I wouldn’t have done it if I was sober or even moderately drunk. Which I’m sure is actually true. But looking back at it, I wasn’t that happy, and it was only about a month into the relationship. I’d known by the third date that it wasn’t going to work out in the end, we got along well, but something just didn’t feel right. I think that might have played a part in what I did. Why didn’t I end the relationship before? He was a great person, and I didn’t think I could do any better.” — [deleted]

“I was young and stupid and I didn’t think about how my actions would impact other people. Or I felt like I got lost in it emotionally. I didn’t have the self-restraint. I wasn’t used to someone liking me and I felt like if I didn’t take the opportunity to interact with someone who was interested in me, I would never get the opportunity again. There’s a lot of factors.” — xxxforcorolla

“Immaturity, and a lot of insecurity. I was a teenager the only time I ever cheated and it wasn’t even a thought process when I did it, it was really just ‘I want that right now’ and the fact that I had a girlfriend didn’t even cross my mind because I had never had to think of others’ feelings in that way before. I was an insecure kid who thought that having a lot of sex meant I was masculine and it proved something, but now I know it’s just a scum move. After the person I cheated with told my girlfriend, I learned really quickly what those actions meant and what kind of behavior is expected from a SO. Wish I didn’t have to hurt someone to figure it out though.” — OptimalFollicle

“Fear of being alone. But that’s the way it came.” — hermano_desperto

“I was in an abusive relationship and wanted to feel like I had power over something. I didn’t.” — natureterp

“I have cheated once. I loved this guy more than I can say in words, but we did not have a healthy relationship. He cheated on me. I even caught him once in bed with another man and I stayed with him anyways because he was my world. He was my best friend. He was my family. But we didn’t have sex. It killed me inside. I would show up at his house wearing nothing but lingerie and a fur coat (I wish this was a made up story but FML it isn’t) and he would ignore me. I didn’t feel like I was attractive or sexy and it got to the point where I didn’t think he would even care if I had sex with someone else. “ — onemorenightofjazz

“I was in an abusive relationship but I didn’t love myself enough to leave it.” — MG_72

“I was broken from a previous, very serious relationship, the aftermath of which pretty much ruined my life as it was, and had me single for four years. About 6 months in to my first new relationship, I ended up flirting with a girl (who was not my SO, just a random) at a party and getting a cab with her to her house. Just flirting, and the girl cooled off quick once we were in her house so I left before anything happened, but the damage was done – was as good as cheating as far as I was concerned. A lot of difficult discussions, hurt feelings, and self-reflection brought me to these understandings: I did it because I knew if I was with my SO much longer, I’d be getting into another deep, life-defining relationship, and I was afraid of letting myself have those emotions. I liked the feeling of being independent of my feelings for my SO, as if they didn’t matter to me (even though they very much did). I was afraid of letting someone have power over how I felt, and afraid of bringing about another catastrophe. If there was a catastrophe coming, I liked the feeling of having control over it. Also chronic issues with porn addiction (stemming from the fallout of that former relationship) had me treating the dopamine from the promise of quick sex like anxiety medicine. Perfect storm.” — EnpeySea