Here’s The Brutal Truth: Your Love Can’t Change Him

Here’s a tough pill to swallow: just because you love him doesn’t mean you can fix him. Sometimes love isn’t enough to make a relationship work, but especially so for a man who won’t change his ways.

If a man you’re in a relationship with isn’t aligned with your values — commitment, safety, trust, honesty, love — then this is not the man for you.

If he tells you he doesn’t want to commit, listen to him. Walk away. You deserve someone who wants to be with you and you shouldn’t wait around for him to maybe change his mind. If he’s giving you reasons not to trust him, if he’s hurting you (physically, emotionally, mentally) and you don’t feel safe or loved by him, you cannot stick around and hope that the love you have will be enough for him to change. He can apologize or make excuses but none of that matters unless there’s a change. And it’s not your job to fix him or save him.

You cannot sit around and wait for him to change. You cannot believe that your love for him is enough for him to change. He’s going to have to want this for himself.

Don’t let yourself be so blinded by love that you don’t see that it’s not really love. Love is a two-way street. If he truly loved you, he would make these changes for himself. Don’t put so much effort into someone who won’t change their ways, who you know — deep down — is wrong for you, who doesn’t care enough to see how they’re hurting you.

You can’t change him. You can’t fix him. You can’t save him. All you can do is let him go.