3 Signs They May Have A Disorganized Attachment Style

Attachment theory was originally developed in the 1950s to explain children’s relationships to their caregivers, but was extended to adult relationships in the 1980s.

In adults, there are four main attachment styles: anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure.

Disorganized attachment often develops during childhood due to abuse from caregivers. People with a disorganized attachment style may also suffer with mental health issues such as borderline personality disorder, depression, or substance use problems.

Here are three signs they may have a disorganized attachment style.

1. They have major trust issues.

Adults with a disorganized attachment style struggle with deep-rooted trust issues. According to The Attachment Project, these difficulties with trust are the result of learning that they could not rely on others to fully love them and accept them for who they are. These trust issues may present in suspicious and/or jealous behaviors. They may also shut down and refuse to open up because vulnerability is incredibly tough for them.

2. They may try and push you away.

In addition to experiencing struggles with trust, someone with a disorganized attachment style can sometimes act out in order to push those closest to them away. They may do this as a means of proving to themselves that they are difficult to love, just as they were conditioned to believe.

3. They pick the wrong partners.

Another sign of disorganized attachment is trying to force relationships that clearly are a bad fit in attempts to recreate the conditions they grew up with. Not only do these tumultuous relationships feel familiar, they also align with their belief that people can’t be trusted and will only hurt them.

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It is important to note that those with a disorganized attachment style can shift to a secure attachment style with proper help and guidance. Talk to a mental health professional to learn more.