What Each Birth Month Shouldn’t Feel Guilty About Anymore

In honor of my twisty sapphic thriller, The Guilty Twin, releasing this month, here are the things each birth month shouldn’t feel guilty about:

January

Don’t feel guilty about expecting more than the bare minimum. You aren’t greedy for expecting partners and friends to treat you right. You deserve to feel valued, to feel respected, to feel important. Don’t settle for anything less than this.

February

Don’t feel guilty about prioritizing your mental health over your work. Remember, your worth isn’t based on your output or your productivity. You need to stop worrying so much about accomplishing everything on your to-do list and focus on keeping yourself healthy.

March

Don’t feel guilty about wearing your heart on your sleeve. You should be proud of how honest you are with your emotions. You should embrace this vulnerability, not feel ashamed of it, because most people wish they were as open as you.

April

Don’t feel guilty about resting when you feel exhausted — and resting when you aren’t exhausted and want to give yourself a break anyway. There’s nothing wrong with taking a break. In fact, it’s the most productive thing you can do when you’re close to burning out. Don’t push yourself too hard. Don’t refuse to rest.

May

Don’t feel guilty about ignoring texts or canceling plans. You won’t always have the energy for social interaction, and that’s okay. You don’t have to come running when others call. You can take your time answering their messages. You can spend some time alone for a while if that’s what you need.

June

Don’t feel guilty about ignoring what others are pressuring you to do and making your own decisions. Even though you want to impress your partners and parents, that doesn’t mean you need to listen to everything they say. You should be making your own decisions. Don’t automatically do what others expect without asking yourself if that’s what you really want.

July

Don’t feel guilty about crying in public. You don’t have to hide your tears behind closed doors. The next time you’re feeling emotional, open up to someone you trust. Confide in them. Lean on their shoulder the way that you would let them if the roles were reversed.

August

Don’t feel guilty about saying no instead of automatically resorting to people-pleasing. Even though you want to spread joy and make others happy, that doesn’t mean you need to sacrifice your own happiness and sanity in the process. If you put too much on your plate, you’ll burn out, so say no when you need to say no.

September

Don’t feel guilty about walking away from people who are refusing to treat you right, people who make you feel drained after every interaction, people who are never going to rise to your most basic standards. Even though you’re a fixer, the worst thing you can do is stick around and let the same people keep hurting you again and again. You owe it to yourself to leave.

October

Don’t feel guilty about prioritizing your own needs above the needs of others. Even though you’re a giver, there’s a time and a place when you need to think of yourself first. When you need to be a little more selfish. Never feel guilty about prioritizing the person in the mirror because they need you.

November

Don’t feel guilty about practicing self-care and treating yourself. This might feel strange to you since you aren’t always the kindest to yourself, but you need to learn to be more gentle. Don’t treat yourself like a punching bag. Treat yourself like a friend.

December

Don’t feel guilty about deciding that yes, you do deserve happiness — and starting to work toward achieving that happiness, even though it’s hard, even though it might mean upsetting others in the process.