7 Concrete Signs Your Ex Deserves Another Chance

It’s so easy to scoff when you hear about “off and on” couples. Clearly they aren’t meant to be if they broke up the first time, right? It’s not that simple. While most breakups should be final, sometimes your ex is your soulmate. If you can overcome why you broke up in the first place, you might just have what it takes to get back together and stay that way for good. How do you tell? Are they ready? And are you? Read on to see if you should take back your ex.

1. Their apology felt genuine.

The first step to taking back your ex is getting a real and genuine apology. It should come from the heart, and not just be said as a tactic for getting back together. Even more-so, the apology shouldn’t be one-and-done. If your ex gets mad if you bring it up again, then they’re clearly not sorry.

2. They’ve put in the work to change and grow…

Just because there’s been time since your breakup, that doesn’t mean that the behaviors that caused it have gone away. There’s a very real chance that your ex is exactly who they were, and the reasons why you broke up still exist. But if they’ve actually put in the work to grow and change since your relationship’s end, that’s a really good sign.

3. …And their growth isn’t just about winning you back.

Not all change is equal. If someone changes purely for the sake of getting back together, what’s to stop them from going back to the way things were once they get what they want? The better change is spurred on by their own drive to be better for themselves, regardless of whether or not you end up together again.

4. Your friends and family admit that it might be a good idea.

If you’re thinking about getting back together, just float the idea to the people who care about you. Remember: They saw your whole relationship without the benefit of the rose-colored glasses that come with being in love. If they freak out and tell you no, you might want to listen. But if they hear your reasoning and aren’t closed to the idea, it might be the right move.

5. You have realistic expectations.

Don’t go into it like it’s going to be some perfect fairy tale. If you get back together, resolve to be ready to break up again if it wasn’t the right move. If you don’t think you can think clearly about it, then who’s to say you’re thinking clearly about getting back together in the first place?

6. You’ve tried to move on, but something is holding you back.

It doesn’t matter how much your ex has repented. If you’ve moved on and you’re happy without them, then why get back together? It’s like moving in reverse. Only take your ex back if this feels like a must.

7. Whatever they did, it wasn’t too heinous.

Some reasons for a breakup can’t be overcome. Cheating on you with your best friend, stealing your money, physical or emotional abuse? They’re all final nails in the coffin that was your relationship. Only take your ex back if what they did can actually be overcome, and not something that created a permanent scar–whether literal or just in your heart.