8 Concrete Signs He’s Beyond Ready For A Serious Relationship
I always say that 95% of relationship success is based on whom you choose. All the advice in the world won’t save you if you select guys who aren’t on the same page as you and don’t want the same things.
It’s vital to recognize the signs of a man who is ready to settle down and wants a serious relationship so you don’t end up wasting your time or getting blindsided when after months of investing your heart and soul into this guy and the relationship, you discover he’s not on the same page.
Sometimes we don’t see the situation clearly because our feelings are too involved. We want things to turn out a certain way and so we hone in on the signs and clues that suggest reality aligns with our desires.
However, doing this doesn’t serve you, and it won’t help you find the love you want. Read on for the signs that he is ready for something serious, and that he’s serious about you.
1. He is growth-oriented.
I am always advising you about the importance of working on yourselves. Well, it goes both ways. You also want this in a man.
The worst kind of people are those who assert “I am the way I am”. Now, in some contexts, this is fine. I happen to be a Type A personality, and that’s the way I am, so it will be hard to change that. But for a while, I had a very dominant personality, I always dominated conversations and a lot of people were put off by that. Instead of saying “I am the way I am”, I addressed that issue, worked on it, and focused on really listening to what other people had to say rather than waiting for my turn to speak, and this made me a better person!
So, yes, there are certain things we can’t change. But for the problem areas, we should try to change, or at least manage, them, and you need a man willing to work on his weak spots.
No one is perfect, we all have flaws. And these flaws aren’t black and white; usually, a person’s greatest strength hints at their greatest weakness.
In a relationship, his behavior affects you (and vice versa), and sometimes his less developed traits will negatively impact you. A growth-oriented guy will want to strengthen his character and work on it. A guy who isn’t growth-oriented will say your problem is the way he is, and you need to deal with it.
Maybe he has a very harsh, to-the-point personality and sometimes you need more empathy and softness. A guy who wants to develop and grow will hear that and work on it. For a relationship to work, two people need to be flexible in certain areas to meet their partner’s emotional needs.
2. He factors you in.
The biggest sign that a guy is ready to settle down is that he makes room for you in his life.
He checks with you before making plans. He makes major life decisions with you, he doesn’t make them on his own and tell you about it after the fact. You are a factor in his decisions. You’re a significant consideration.
He considers you and your needs, he isn’t only thinking about and living for himself. He has made room for you and he considers how things will affect you.
3. He deepens the relationship.
The surest signs that a guy is serious about you are his consistency and the deepening of the relationship.
He isn’t stalling for time, questioning why things should change if he’s content with the way they are. Rather, he wants to take the next step and propel the relationship forward. This doesn’t mean he’s hurrying to marry you; it just means your relationship is slowly and effortlessly evolving, never stuck in a perpetual standstill.
He shares more of himself with you, enabling the relationship to progress. You both comfortably discuss and even plan for the future. None of these actions make him squeamish or intimidate him into running away.
4. He is settled in his life.
Here’s the thing about guys — a man will not want to settle down until he feels established in his life, until he feels like his life is moving in the direction he desires.
Maybe he doesn’t have as much money as he’d like, or perhaps he isn’t exactly where he wants to be in his career, but he’s on the right path. He’s living his mission, pursuing his passion, and is emotionally stable overall.
If a guy is in a chaotic state, he won’t want to commit. Most women can always make space for a relationship, regardless of their own personal circumstances. Men, however, aren’t like this. If a man isn’t ready, then he simply isn’t ready. Moreover, most men will not want to be in a relationship if their life is in disarray.
Regrettably, many women see this as an opportunity to play the savior and swoop in to help him heal. But this approach is rarely effective and often leads to heartbreak for the woman.
If a man doesn’t feel like he’s succeeding in life, he won’t want to be “seen,” and there’s nowhere to hide in a serious relationship. Therefore, chances are he won’t be ready to settle down until he has his life in order.
5. He is committed to making it work.
A guy who isn’t prepared to commit is perpetually seeking reasons to depart. Conversely, a man who is ready to commit fights for the relationship, searching for reasons to remain involved.
The success of the relationship is crucial to him. It’s significant, it matters, and he is determined to see things through. When a guy isn’t ready to settle down, he adopts a nonchalant, take-it-or-leave-it attitude towards his relationships. He doesn’t invest a substantial part of himself. If things work out, that’s great. If not, he perceives it as no big deal.
However, when a guy is committed, he is thoroughly engaged in the relationship.
6. He’s done sowing his wild oats.
He’s been there, done that with the wild party boy scene and he’s over it. He has no desire to sleep around or get blackout drunk with his friends every weekend. He just feels done.
The abandonment of the party boy lifestyle is just a natural shift that occurs as a guy matures and really wants to settle down and enter a new phase of his life. And women experience it too. At a certain point, we just feel ready to move on, to slow down and make a
7. He really lets you in.
He allows you to see his true self, the man beneath the mask. We all wear masks in society. But, that mask rarely represents who we truly are; it’s more about how we want to be perceived.
When a man is serious about you, he reveals hidden aspects of himself – the sides he conceals from everyone else, the aspects that only a privileged few are allowed to see. With you, he can be genuine, with no pretense or facade. He opens up to you, confides in you, and places his complete trust in you.
When a man does this, he’s investing in you and committing himself to you.
8. You just know…
And now for the clearest sign of all that he’s ready to settle down … you just know.
You just know he’s serious about you. You feel completely secure in the relationship. He cares about you and meeting your needs. You don’t have this underlying feeling of fear writhing in the pit of your stomach, warning you that he’s just going to leave. You can relax and just be.
You know the feelings I’m talking about. They are the same feelings you’ve ignored and pushed aside so many times before.
People assume relationships are supposed to be hard. In some regard, this is true; relationships do take work… but the work does not come in the form of figuring out how he feels. That’s the easy part!
If it feels like a struggle and if you can’t tell where he stands or how he feels, it’s a strong sign he’s just not on the same page as you.