These Are Flirting Cues That Oblivious People Should Keep An Eye Out For

For you humans who are romantically inclined but oblivious to the nuanced cues of flirtation, here are some tips/stories that might make it a bit more obvious next time.

“Flirting didn’t click for me until I heard it described not as a set of behaviors to look out for, but as an escalation of suggestive behaviors couched in plausible deniability. Put practically, if someone is doing something to engage you that feels extra (lots of touching, looking at you in a way that feels a bit too long, or doing a lot of poking fun and complimenting you), then that might be flirting or it might not. That’s the whole point. Plausible deniability. They can safely disengage at any time. If you want to know if someone’s flirting, you need to test it. You do that by escalating things, but just a bit, so that now you have plausible deniability (touch them back in a comfortable way, maintain eye contact, or joke-compliment them back). If they escalate back and continue to do so as you escalate in turn, that is flirting. Eventually one of you will break cover and do something with clear intent (a kiss, an approach and ask for a number, or straight up telling them what you think of them and that you’re interested). Otherwise, if you escalate and they don’t change their behavior or they back off, then they were probably just being friendly and you should take the hint and do the same. Dunno if that’s something obvious to people, but it was definitely not for me, and college parties would have been way less fun had I not known. Hopefully this can help someone else too. “ — three_furballs

“Be wary of a one-sided conversation. If your responses are met with mostly ‘yeps’ and ‘uh huh’ and nothing without meat, it’s probably not going well.” — ViciousKnids

“Physical contact. Granted, not everyone flirts the same way but a good sign is if they touch your arm (or the like) or you find them smiling the whole time that you’re talking to them.” — Cosmic_Barman

“Mirroring body language. This is a tactic employed by people who work in sales and it’s not always conscious. This is a psychological disarmament tactic we, as humans, deploy on each other. In the case of someone who likes you, while interacting, watch for repetitious patterns and mimic their body language. Eventually, if you cross your arms and the person who’s attention you are seeking does the same, for example, you can rely on that being a good sign. That’s not to say you need to reposition or fidget while interacting; remember, being comfortable and at ease is a way bigger turn-on and ultimately lends itself to a more approachable experience for all parties. After all, ‘acting natural’ is the penultimate Jedi mind trick.” — flungkle

“They make a lot of eye contact. They are interested in what you have to say and ask you lots of questions. They laugh at your jokes, even the lame ones. They initiate physical contact. They try to find space where you can talk more privately (this does not always mean sex but it often means they wish for more quality time with you). But do not take these as signs that a worker is interested in you. They literally get paid to seem interested in the concerns of every customer/client. Furthermore, any of these one signs alone is NOT confirmation someone likes you. Everyone flirts differently and some may not even use any of the above. These were simply some traits that came to mind based off my limited experience.” — TheSurfingRaichu

“When you think someone likes you, you can test that theory in a few ways. A subtle but effective example is inviting them to something you know they can’t or don’t want to attend. If they express interest in rescheduling or finding some other way to spend time with you, they like you. Otherwise they’ll just say no, sorry, I can’t make it. This works because you’re showing interest in spending additional time with them (this event would be more enjoyable for me if you were there) and if they like you they will be sure to make it clear that they are saying no to the event, not to you. Of course, you could also just ask. In my experience, anyone worth getting intimate with is mature enough to deal with that question.” — MildlyWyld

“If you’re in a group of friends (new or old), find a natural opportunity to hang back. Someone who’s interested in you will notice and take the opportunity to talk to you in private. Now this isn’t full proof but it’ll at least give you the opportunity to feel for any chemistry between you.” — Kagamid

“Pay attention to their eye contact with you compared to others, if one has small amount of eye contact with others but a lot with you, generally it means they’re comfortable with you. Physical contact is usually big for people who aren’t already touchy, people will generally be more touchy with those they like. When in a group and everyones laughing, people generally look at the one they’re most comfortable with first, or the one they like, could be either or both. Action imitation is big, if you think someone is into you, do an action like hands in pocket or something, if they copy, they probably like you, or are paying serious attention to you for some reason. If they laugh at your dumb joke, either they like you, or the joke made them uncomfortable, depends on the situation. Playing with hair is one that can mean something too, but some people also just do that a lot anyway.” — dalcer