This Is How You Move On When You Lose The Love Of Your Life
In the aftermath of Valentine’s Day, it is important to remember that all is not always fair in love and war. Sometimes there is love and sometimes there is heartbreak, and other times, they are wrapped up in each other as one and the same thing.
This leads to the all-important question: How do you go on with your life when you lose the love of your life?
You go on with your life when you lose the love of your life when you realize that you come first.
You have to save some parts of yourself, for yourself. Pieces of you that no one else can get to because you need you more than anyone else does.
There are ways to love a person without completely losing yourself so you should love as wildly and freely as you can; but once you start to lose this little piece, the one that was supposed to be just for you, alarm bells should start ringing.
You must be willing to have difficult conversations with yourself. To open your eyes to see and accept things for what they truly are. Do not sugarcoat the truth or overthink the obvious to create alternative preferred meanings.
So simply (or not so simply), you go on with your life when you lose the love of your life when you see them for who they really are, not who you thought they were or who you wanted them to be.
If a person can continuously hurt you and feel no remorse about it, they do not love you. If your repeated cries and requests keep falling on deaf ears or ever begin to sound like begging, they do not love you. If you find yourself often questioning if it is love, they do not love you—at least, not in the way that you need or deserve to be loved.
You move on with your life when you lose the love of your life when you begin to understand that many times, people don’t change, they just adapt and become more seamless in putting on and taking off their different masks. That just because you are good to a person does not mean they will be good to you in return.
Love is not supposed to hurt you or make you feel worthless. It isn’t pain and heartbreak dressed up in meaningless gestures and empty apologies. You cannot keep trying to fix and force things, especially if you are the only one who is fighting, and you most definitely cannot love someone into loving you back or loving you right.
You move on with your life when you finally realize that some things don’t get better because they just aren’t meant to be.
Don’t rob yourself of the healing process by trying to ignore it or rush it. Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts and the only way to get through it is indeed to go through it. To feel it and then free it. You take from it what you need to; preserve all the memories that you want to carry, and you put them in the suitcase for the journey ahead.
Draw the positives from your heartbreak. What have you learnt from it? Where did you go wrong? What signs did you ignore? Then you make a vow to yourself to never let yourself dishonor the gift that is your intuition ever again. You must never forget that you are your own home and your very best friend.
Talk to yourself more; speak life to and all over you. Go to therapy; pray; move to a new city; try out a new hobby; set some goals to work towards; make plans to look forward to. The list is endless but the key word here being forward. Do all you can to ensure that you don’t stay stuck in a place you don’t belong in.
Most importantly, celebrate your victories, no matter how small they may seem, because no one knows what it took to achieve them. Treat yourself, clap for yourself, take a shot or two for yourself—even if no one else does.
It is crucial to remember that there are some lessons you don’t need to relearn and that one time is enough. This means that sometimes, you have to be the change. You have to be the one to break old patterns and cycles. So, if you find yourself missing them, wish them well and release them back into the jungle that is this great big universe because they no longer belong in your space of greatness.
It is true what they say about letting go. It doesn’t just happen in one go; you release and rerelease over and over again. Sometimes you reminisce and take a walk down memory lane. It is okay to do so, but don’t stay there and don’t ever reach out. Reaching out is giving your hand out to be pulled right back to rock bottom. So, cry if you need to. Heal in the ways that are best for you—emphasis on best, not easiest.
It has been said that sometimes, we hold onto the past because we think there is something there that we need, when really, all that we need is within us. The past is the past for a reason and nothing good comes from clinging onto it. You can begin to go on with your life when you accept that life itself moves on, and you must move with it.
And finally, be kind to yourself. Love like it’s the only thing you know how to do but that starts at home, with yourself.
You go on with your life when you lose the love of your life when you realize that you have not lost the love of your life at all.
It was always you.
You go on when you understand that one of the greatest loves of all, is the very one that you have for yourself. A lifelong journey of growth and discovery that will serve you well in every season ahead—pack light and travel well.
Godspeed