The Aftermath Of What You Left Me With

I turn 25 in four days and you should be here. I wish we had more pictures because even with all of our endless memories, those memories start to fade.

I’m going to be 25 in four days and you should be here. Before you left, did you question what you’d miss? The good, the bad, birthdays and holidays. 

I’m going to be 25 in four days and you should be here. On my 21st birthday, I was where we had our last drink. I was dancing, being spun around, and everything was happening so fast. I couldn’t tell who was who or what was what, just strings of lights and loud music. I was so happy and then it hit me: I was finally 21 and you weren’t there. 

I’m going to be 25 in four days and you should be here. We should be looking for shoes, outfits, and hats that say “Wasted”. In four days, we should be so drunk that you’d drag me over to the jukebox, laughing about how if anyone were to ever hurt me, you’d kill them, then you’d lift your white tee and show me your favorite gun of the week. 

I’m going to be 25 in four days and you should be here. I guess as a little girl, I created these images in my head of what certain moments of my life would be like. You always talked about throwing my parties and when I’d finally turn 21. 19 came and things started to look a little gray. 

I’m going to be 25 in four days and you should be here. If I would’ve known then what I know now, I would’ve spent my whole 16th birthday with you. I would’ve spent more time throwing the football around, I would’ve danced in the rain a little bit longer. I was so devastated it was raining on my big day. 

I’m going to be 25 in four days and you should be here. I’m going to be 25 in four days and you’re not here. I’m going to be 25 in four days and I’m still not okay with missing you. I’m going to be 25 in four days and there’s so much I haven’t been able to tell you. 

I’m going to be 25 in four days without you.