We need to talk.
It’s not you, it’s me.
Well, it’s both of us combined, safe to say.
See, you make me do things. You make me feel like I need to lie to people just to maintain some inaccurate image of myself that never existed in the first place. You’re maddening to keep up with. I just can’t do it anymore.
Because the thing is, Pride, you always catch up to me. The things you make me do, the way you make me feel… it never goes away. I build upon you until I don’t even realize what story I’m telling anymore. I sew bits and pieces of my real self into an overall narrative you long since took the lead on and I don’t know how to escape.
This ends now, I think.
Because the truth is, Pride, as secretive as you think you are and as stealthy as you try to act, everyone sees you. You’re blatantly obvious, as much as you try to be discreet, and everyone sees that. There’s no hiding your games or your ill wishes or your insanely frustrating way of operating.
You are stagnant, Pride, and you’ll never change. You’re not going to be better or make people feel valued or make me feel good. You’re just going to induce fear into my narrative and project a negative self-image and make me feel lesser than and I’m just not interested in that anymore.
I want more for myself.
I want to be honest about who I really am, even if people think that’s ugly. I want to be real to myself about myself, even if I think it’s ugly. I want to honor the fact that I don’t know everything, and I shouldn’t assume that I do.
I just want a little bit of peace and quiet, if that’s okay with you. I want to accept my flaws as they are and not place judgment on them. I just want to be as I am—no embellishment needed on your part.
So here’s the thing, Pride. This is the end of us. I know you’ll cross my mind every now and then, and people or situations will make me feel that I need you back, but I don’t.
I’m better off without you. So I’m letting you go.
Goodbye, Pride, and best of luck on your own.